


Tattoos Over Flowers

by heilz



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Depression, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Explicit Language, M/M, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-20 03:30:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3634971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heilz/pseuds/heilz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki Ken is the name on everyone's lips when he moves to a small, close-knit town out in the countryside. Having escaped what appears to be a hellish past, he plans to open up a small flower shop, right next to the local tattoo parlor on a dingy strip mall at the edge of the town limits.<br/>Hide doesn't have a problem with that. Not at all.<br/>*Currently on hiatus!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello

**Author's Note:**

> For that Tattoo Artist/Florist Meme I saw on tumblr the other day. I'm slowly becoming obsessed with this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY, I just planned out what could roughly be the rest of this story, which totals up to 18 chapters (at least for now). There may be some chapters that could be split into two, or some that may not be long enough to really drag a full chapter out of, since I just wrote really rough summaries of them in my phone. But, the fic shouldn't be too long, and probably won't go over 20 chapters.  
> Thanks for reading!

A steady hand and a passion for ink. A mind full of art, and the courage to engrave it into someone’s skin for an eternity. That was the finality Hide had been searching for, during the entirety of his young life.

Of course, though, when you’re young, you’re taught that tattoos are bad. They’re a mark of the gothic, the rebels, the liberals who the well-to-dos try their damnedest to turn a blind eye to. If you have tattoos, you’ll never get a job, and you’ll waste your life away selling pot to high school kids in your AC-less, run-down apartment.

Yet here Hide was, in his own parlor, sketching models for his latest client. As it were, the client was his childhood friend, Juuzou, but Hide’s clients were by no means limited solely to his friends. Hide’s art was regarded as pretty damn revolutionary in his small town, from the adults that watched him grow into the man he became to the kids who came into their own along with him.

Something was distracting Hide today, though, and Juuzou could practically _smell_ it. Curiosity reverberated off of Hide in waves, and Juuzou was grasping at straws as to which way was best to confront his friend while simultaneously pissing him the fuck off. Because, albeit rarely, Hide was hilarious when he was mad.

Finally, Juuzou gave up wracking his brain to find a solution and just spit the question out, like a shook up carbonated drink that’d been bottled up a second too long. “What’s got you so antsy today, Hide?”

Hide jumped from where he sat, across the room at a worn wooden desk, previously hunched over a paper full of undiscernible images and words. Everything but his eyes looked exhausted. “What? I’m what?” He reached for his fourth cup of coffee—knocking it down when a spasm racked his hand.

“You’re _off_ today, _somehow,”_ Juuzou elaborated, swinging himself sideways on his own chair and letting his feet dangle loosely. “What’s eatin’ you?”

Hide blinked rapidly, appearing to be afflicted by some sort of lag. “I—nothing. I mean,” Hide’s eyes shifted, and Juuzou fought back a grin. Hide was going to spill. “There’s this…you know that guy that just moved in a few days ago?”

Juuzou rocked back and forth, head tilted towards the ceiling as he tried to remember who Hide could be talking about. Sure, he’d heard of a new resident moving in, but why should he care about that? Worrying about everyone else’s business was for the older folk.

“I don’t. Why?” Juuzou squinted hard. He really wanted to remember.

“Well…” Hide ruffled the back of his head, leaving tufts of dyed hair sticking up at all the wrong angles. “He opened up this flower shop, right next door, y’know, where that pet store went out of business? Well, I mean, it’s not _open_ yet, I think he’s still trying to clean out some animal leftovers, or whatever, but y’know, I haven’t gone to talk to him yet, and I just feel like I should. But how do I?”

Juuzou lolled his head forward to face Hide once more, and was met with a questionable scene: Hide was looking at him like he actually wanted his advice.

Hide.

Taking _Juuzou’s_ advice.

He had to be on something.

So Juuzou laughed.

“Juuzou!” Hide immediately snapped. “This isn’t—”

Suddenly, the doorbell chimed, signaling a customer. Hide groaned and stood up, swaying a bit on his feet and _trying_ to ignore the merry laughs that were sounding from the other side of the room.

“Welcome, I—” Hide began and froze at what felt like the same time. Standing there, clad in black that juxtaposed against his hair, was the very same new guy he had just described to Juuzou.

To lay all things fair, Hide wasn’t particularly _scared_ of the newcomer. Quite the opposite. He was intrigued, and wanted (he pushed away the nagging thought of _needed_ ) to get to know him better. It was all simply the matter of how to approach the man, however, that ground Hide’s thoughts to a standstill. Hide was good at being friendly, but this guy had an _aura_. And guys with auras were hard to get and even harder to keep.

But now he was here, standing in the lobby of Hide’s self-operated tattoo parlor. Hide wished he’d named it something less tacky than Tattoos Over Flowers in that moment; to make it worse, the _irony._

“Hello!” Despite Hide’s inner turmoil, he flashed a smile bright enough for both himself and the blank stare the man was giving him. “D’you need something? Help unpacking? Ah, I’m Nagachika Hideyoshi—Hide’s fine. I run this parlor, so I guess we’ll be something like neighbors now, huh? Don’t worry, I don’t bite or anything.” He fiddled with his hands, not sure whether to stop there or continue. He was usually good at reading faces and expressions, but this guy didn’t even twitch. Somehow, it reminded Hide of a blank slate—untouched and sought after.

Hide felt his artistic conscience itch with yearning for it.

“I’m Kaneki. Ken,” the young man added, as if it was an afterthought. Hide wondered if he wasn’t called by his given name much, but briefly, as he was more focused on the beautiful and soft-spoken way Kaneki talked.

“Nice to meet ya, Kaneki!” Hide greeted, beaming smile ever present as he walked forward to shake hands with the man. He tried not to think about how Kaneki may be judging the tacky black-and-white-and-red architectural theme he had going on throughout his parlor, from designs on the walls to barstools lined up along them in the waiting room, resembling a 50’s burger joint effortlessly.

Needless to say, Hide didn’t _really_ love the designs Juuzou picked out, but his best friend _was_ paying for half the rental costs to keep the business afloat. Where Juuzou got his money exactly, Hide never asked.

“Likewise,” Kaneki said. His silver eyes didn’t wander, thankfully, but to Hide’s alarm, the other boy seemed to be sizing him up.

Before Hide could throw up his hands in self-defense, Juuzou swung himself around the doorframe that led to the tattooing room.

“Hide, I’m waiting—” He stopped short. Glancing indiscreetly from Hide to Kaneki, Juuzou instantly picked up just _who_ Hide had been talking about earlier. His best friend’s face was simply painted with panicked evidence.

“Hello!” Juuzou greeted, marching up to Kaneki and blinking up at the taller boy. “I’m Suzuya Juuzou, Hide’s friend. Hide wouldn’t shut up about you earlier, so I’m glad you came by to sort things out!”

Kaneki looked startled by that—if a slight crease between the eyebrows was anything to go by. Hide wanted to slap Juuzou.

“Kaneki,” came the mumbled reply. There went all conversation.

Juuzou blinked, knowing full well things might get ugly with Hide if he stayed. Weighing his options, he opted for the front door. “Well, maybe I’ll get my tattoo some other time. See ya, Hide!”

Hide wished he could melt down through the cracks in the floor to the deepest pit in Hell. He stood there, and for once, didn’t know what to say. His bubbly charisma, fueled by the confidence he’d had in his impromptu greeting that had later faltered under the scrutiny of Kaneki’s strange stare, was now crushed at the hands of his best friend.

But suddenly, Kaneki spoke.

“I actually… _was_ wondering if you could help me move some things,” he said, his voice not quite a whisper but not anything Hide had ever heard before.

Heart skipping a beat, Hide nodded. He didn’t exactly know why he was so eager to help the new guy out, as one of Juuzou’s own friends had moved in half a year ago and Hide had never even offered to ease the aggravating toil of settling in, but after a brief moment of speculation he put it off as one of those “aura things.”

Auras were important, weren’t they?

 

As it turned out, Kaneki _did_ need help moving. Very much so. The previous owner of the foreclosed shop had not done even nearly adequate enough of a job in cleaning their mess. Kaneki worked silently, but Hide couldn’t contain spontaneous outbursts of “ _Fucking_ rude,” or “How dare they, if I ever see their sorry ass again…”

It was well past noon by the time the shop began to look even remotely clean. With a good portion of mess remaining, Hide suggested lunch.

Kaneki sat back onto his heels where he was crouched over a torn up dog bed. “Ah, sure. I’m a vegetarian, though…”

Hide blinked. Well, that eliminated just about 99% of the places he could’ve taken Kaneki. But thankfully, he did know a nice little shop on the edge of town that made pretty damn near perfect sandwiches. He nodded to Kaneki. “I know just the place!”

Ushering the fair-haired boy out of the shop and into his small, in-desperate-need-of-a-paintjob Kia, he chattered up the coffee shop like he was a regular. In reality, he’d only gone twice because Juuzou had literally dragged him there, but the only other places Hide ate were full of meat plates and absolutely nothing else.

While Hide talked, Kaneki stared out the window. Hide glanced at the other man’s reflection every chance he got—the guy had a beautiful face, he had to admit. It was addictive, and Hide had to consciously force himself to focus on the road more than his newfound friend’s (were they friends now?) features.

“So Kaneki,” Hide began, “where did you move here from?”

Kaneki stiffened.

_Oh, shit._

“N-never mind! Anyway, damn, you’re gonna love this sandwich place. Full of low calorie stuff that tastes, like, gourmet. I don’t usually like sandwiches, but Juuzou took me there a few times and it was just too good, ya know?”

Kaneki nodded, but Hide’s earlier question seemed to have shook him. So there were people out there who really did come from hellish places. Hide had had a rough childhood, but nothing to cringe about when someone broached the subject. He decided to leave the personal tells to Kaneki’s own free will. He could stay superficial.

They arrived at the sandwich shop a few minutes later, Kaneki barely opening his mouth to talk while Hide rambled. They got out, and though Hide was overcome with the strangest urge to open Kaneki’s door for him, he let it be.

“This is pretty,” Kaneki commented as they climbed the winding staircase to enter. Hide nodded. The shop was set on stilts, like a beach house would be, but without the sand or ocean. It created a nice atmosphere while you were eating, and you could look out the windows and see open countryside for what felt like miles.

“Yeah, I’m glad Juuzou introduced me.” He was. He really was.

It wasn’t hard to find an empty table for two—the shop was deserted save a couple in the corner, sipping calmly at a shared milkshake.

As they sat, a pretty woman with a questionable sense in hair color hurried over to wait on them. She placed two menus on the table for the boys, asking, “What would you both like for drinks?”

“Sweet tea, please,” Hide replied.

Kaneki shifted in his seat. “Water.”

As Kaneki was beginning to become accustomed to, Hide began his rambling, only pausing to declare a “Thank you!” to the waitress when she returned with their drinks. She later came back to take their orders, in the middle of Hide’s monologue that consisted of his trying times as a blooming tattoo artist.

After the waitress dismissed herself again, Hide turned to face  Kaneki head-on. “So, what’re you gonna name your shop?” he asked around his straw.

Kaneki, thankfully, didn’t flinch away from the inquiry. “I’m not sure yet. I may not open the store for another week…some of the flowers I brought didn’t make it through the journey.” He looked down where his menu had been, a painful gleam sheening in his eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that,” Hide replied. “I can help you get some new ones? Friends helping each other out and all that.” He waited for Kaneki’s reply on bated breath. They were friends! They wouldn’t be eating together if they weren’t friends!

Kaneki returned Hide’s gaze. Suddenly, his small, perfect lips curved into an equally minimal smile, but it was _there._ “That would be wonderful. Thank you.”

Hide wanted to jump for joy.

 

After their meal, Hide drove them back to their little strip mall, taking the long way (unbeknownst to Kaneki) so he could relish their close proximity. He brushed hands with Kaneki once or twice while adjusting the AC or changing the radio station. Every touch sent tingles up Hide’s arm and down his spine—he ignored the strange afterthoughts that scoffed in his mind.

They arrived all too soon. Getting back to work was rough on a full belly, but Hide didn’t dare slack off, not when Kaneki was so obviously doing his best to clear up the shop. Hide could practically feel how excited the other boy was.

Hide was also becoming more accustomed to Kaneki’s ever-so-subtle tells and signs. Kaneki never did anything outright—every facial expression, every gesture, every movement was covered by layers of caution and wariness. Hide wondered why exactly that was…

“Alright,” came the abrupt sigh from across the room. Hide jumped. “That seems like it’ll do for today,” Kaneki said, more to himself than Hide, as he was facing the wall to the far side of the store. It was still lined with abandoned kennels and rogue pet toys, but they’d done a considerable amount of work in the past couple of hours. Kaneki then turned to Hide. “Thank you for your work, really. It helped me out a lot.”

Hide smiled, waving his hand passively. “Nah, it was nothing! Glad I could help.”

Kaneki then laced his fingers together, eying them rather than Hide as he spoke again. “And…if it’s no trouble, it would mean a great deal if you could help me tomorrow as well. If you don’t mind, that is.”

Hide blinked. Then blinked again. He thought he would have to show up unannounced, barging his way in to help Kaneki again. Because he really did want to help the guy, for _some_ reason he didn’t feel like putting the brainpower into discerning at the moment. Nonetheless, he nodded almost too vigorously. “Of course! No trouble at all!”

Another mini-smile was bestowed upon Hide, and he felt like the king of the world in that small moment. Elation fluttering in his every step, he excused himself to tend to his own abandoned parlor.

He didn’t see the smile fall to a frown full of sorrow as he left.


	2. He Knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza, look at this speedy update. It's crazy. It's like I'm gonna actually finish this fic! Amazing!!!  
> P.S. WATCH TF OUT for all that fluff.

Kaneki didn’t sleep well at all that night. His dreams were plagued by grandiose doors opening at his weakened touch, the car full of the plants he’d cared for while _there,_ his books, and a wallet full of cash he’d taken from _his_ account.

A screeching, maddened voice rang through both the darkness and the heavy storm, and though Kaneki couldn’t hear what was being said, he knew he could never be found again. Or it would be the end of him.

After hours of tossing and turning, followed by multiple trips to the bathroom to puke out the previously delicious sandwiches he’d eaten the day before with that nice tattoo artist Hide, cruel dawn light filtered down on his tired eyelids through his blinds. Sitting up, Kaneki looked around his new room.

Nothing but simple, cluttered mess surrounded him. Everything was cheap; nothing itself cost more than 5 dollars, save his mattress, the bedframe, and his desk that sat in the corner of his three-room apartment. He breathed out heavily, bated by the nagging anxiety-driven thoughts that told him he’d never actually escaped that man, and he was going to wake up at some point, his freedom a dream…

He rubbed his eyes, purple with the mark of the insomniac. Glancing at his clock, which read 7:04, he realized he’d never specified to Hide when they’d meet up. He barely even knew the way back to the strip mall.

Still, he lurched up, slowly pulling himself from the warmth of his cheap white sheets and surveying his wardrobe that was effectively laid out on the carpet. He picked up a white-and-black flannel and dark denims. He was glad he’d had time to pack his things before his grand escape, as he wanted _his_ money to last him a while. The rent for that run-down shop was high enough.

Walking into the bathroom, Kaneki avoided looking at his reflection. He wished he had the courage to remove the mirror altogether. He was glad he’d already buttoned the flannel all the way up—the bruises, he assumed by how they still throbbed dully, remained. Luckily, his face had been too “gorgeous” to scathe, so everything could be covered accordingly.

Everything save the wounds that plagued his mind—and not just at night.

He brushed his teeth, washing the taste of vomit from his tongue, and ran a few fingers through his unkempt hair. As he pulled his hands away, a few strands of white came with it. He let them fall to the ground—too grateful that they weren’t stained with red to be normal.

Skipping breakfast, as his stomach wasn’t exactly acting compliantly at the moment, he headed out the door. The thing he liked best about his apartment was his key. Clicking the tumblers shut at his own expense felt so liberating—it was something he’d never done, not from the time he was raised as a kid to being thrown out of his aunt’s house.

No, this was a fresh and completely new beginning for Kaneki Ken. He’d never owned a thing for himself his entire life, and this was his chance to live it to the fullest.

He turned and started down the stairs that led to the first story, suppressed excitement biting at the heels of his weary feet.

 

“Kaneki, where do you want this to go?”

Hide held up a pot of white asters, eying it thoughtfully. After successfully cleaning out the last of the previous storeowner’s junk in record time, they had begun setting up various tables and ceiling hooks for the plants Kaneki had driven over. He’d fit a considerable amount of vegetation in the van he’d stolen just days before.

“Let’s put it…over there,” Kaneki suggested, pointing towards a bunch of lavender snapdragons. Hide nodded.

“Y’know, this whole flower business you have going on is really neat,” Hide commented. Kaneki nodded, knowing when Hide was attempting at idle chitchat, and began dropping subtle hints that he wouldn’t participate. Hide could talk Kaneki’s ears off, but Kaneki was bad at conversation, so he would rather listen than be listened to.

“I’ve given a lot of flower tattoos, too,” Hide continued. “Most of the time people want them in color. But I like black-and-white tattoos best, if I’m being honest. They’re so simple, y’know?” He paused for a second, moving another pot of asters next to its twin. “Have you ever wanted a tattoo, Kaneki?”

Kaneki froze. He pictured the grotesque contusions on his body, the hideous assortment of welts and scars against his pale skin. His marred body was no suitable canvas for any sort of ink Hide could imprint onto him.

“I don’t really want one,” Kaneki replied coolly. “They’re beautiful, really, but I have never really felt the desire to cut into my skin to make it look prettier.” That was a lie; Kaneki had given tattoos quite an amount of thought before even meeting Hide, and he’d always felt a small yearning for them. Until _everything_ happened.

Hide took his decline in stride. “I get what you mean. Getting these were a pain in the ass.” He rolled up a sleeve of his jacket, showing off his sleeve to Kaneki.

The other boy’s eyes widened. Subconsciously, he moved closer until his nose was practically touching Hide’s arm. Mesmerized, he studied the geometrical theme that seemed to be telling some kind of story as it went down his arm, with cursive script placed along lines and vertexes.

“What does it mean?” Kaneki asked, looking up to lock gazes with Hide.

“It—err, well…” It was the most open Kaneki had ever been with Hide—over a tattoo the man had just said he would never be interested in getting. Briefly, he decided that _that_ had to be a lie, but he’d broach the subject later on when they were better friends. Maybe he’d even get to tattoo Kaneki…

In the midst of Hide’s conscience’s struggle for peace, Kaneki straightened and stepped back a pace. “Oh, sorry,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his head. He hadn’t realized how close he’d become to the other man.

Hide laughed. “Oh, no, you’re fine. I’m just, uh, the story is actually an excerpt from a book my mom used to read to me as a kid. Kinda…cliché, I guess, but it means a lot to me.”

Kaneki couldn’t help but empathize. He remembered the books he read with his own mother, the warm, loving moments he spent in her presence. Nothing could replace that.

“What story was it?”

“I think it was…Guess How Much I Love You.” Hide laughed quietly. “She would always change Big Nutbrown Hare’s pronouns to ‘she’.”

A smile graced Kaneki’s lips—sad nostalgia and happiness for his friend pulling at the corners.

“That’s really nice,” Kaneki said. He found that he truly meant it, and those weren’t just words to fill the silence that threatened to seize them both.

“Yeah. She was an amazing woman.”

“If she could keep up with you, I’m sure she was.”

An undyed eyebrow rose of its own accord. Was Kaneki _joking_ with him? A hearty, genuine laugh echoed off the bare walls of the flower shop, and Hide noticed that Kaneki too was laughing quietly.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Hide sighed after calming down. He’d ended up on the floor, and was still clutching his abs.

“Well, we’re mostly unpacked,” Kaneki commented, veering away from the topic that would surely form a lump in his throat. Humor could only delay such. “We can call this a day, I think.”

“Sounds good to me. Wanna go out for sandwiches again? Juuzou said he wanted to come along if we went back. He loves that café.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Kaneki agreed. The pair piled back into Hide’s Kia and were off to wherever Juuzou lived.

As it turned out, Juuzou lived not too far from the strip mall. A small, cottage-looking house on the side of a dirt road was where Hide parked, and he pulled out his phone to text a quick message to the boy Kaneki had only had a brief, awkward meeting with.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, waiting, Hide called Juuzou directly. “Where the _hell_ are you, Juuzou?”

Even Kaneki could hear the lackadaisical giggle that sounded from the receiver. “Stupid Hide, I already ate! Go have fun with your boyfriend!”

Hide rolled his eyes. “Juuzou, I swear to _god_ if you ever want any tattoos done again…” Hanging up, Hide’s grumbles subsided.

“It’s fine if it’s just us,” Kaneki offered.

Hide sighed, turning a tired smile Kaneki’s way. “No, you see…Juuzou was my wallet.”

“Huh?”

“I uh…may have left my wallet back at my house today.”

Kaneki raised an eyebrow. “Then can’t we just stop by your house and get it?”

Hide let his head fall back to his headrest. “I mean…we _could…_ ” He pulled a face. “But that may not be the best idea.”

“Why?”

“Well, I kind of…share my apartment. With some weird roommates.”

Kaneki huffed. “That’s not a big deal. They’re just your roommates.”

Hide glanced at Kaneki, who sat straight and defiant. He shrugged. _His mistake._

Pulling into drive, they were off once more, this time to confront Hide’s roommates.

 

The scene before Kaneki caught him completely off-guard. A built, fair-haired man was laying on top of a cushioned mat on the floor—naked—while a girl sat on his back, nose buried in a textbook.

“It doesn’t say anything about the particular area you’re talking about, but I’m sure if I just go with the standard clockwise fist massage thing, it should work itself out. Let me know if it hurts too much, because—oh, Nagachika! Hello!”

Hide ran his hands down his face. “Nishino…what the hell are you doing to Nishio?”

The girl, Nishino, set her textbook down on the floor and stood, freeing the man and allowing him to prop himself up on his elbows. “Oh, Nagachika, you’re early,” he commented. His gaze shifted to Hide’s left. “Who the fuck is this?”

“This’s Kaneki. We’re just here to pick up my wallet, we were gonna go out for sandwiches…shit.” He turned his eyes away from the hopeful gaze Nishino was sending him.

“A date? Nishiki, we should go!” She fluttered about the room, throwing garments at Nishio as she went. “We haven’t been on a proper one in forever. And what better way than to meet Nagachika’s new boyfriend?”

Hide dodged past her to make his way to a back room, of which Kaneki assumed to be his bedroom. “He’s my friend, Nishino!” he called as he went.

The girl paused for a moment, sizing Kaneki up. Snorting, she replied, “Right, your _sexy_ friend. With benefits, or still without?” She resumed her cleaning frenzy—if throwing clothes at the boy on the floor could be called that.

“Kimi, I have, like, ten shirts over here. What the hell do you want me to wear?”

An irritated sigh could be heard from Hide’s room. “Can I live? I have friends, you know!”

“Wear the gray pullover, I love that one on you,” Nishino replied, ignoring Hide.

Nishio was dressed before Hide could find his wallet. Consequentially, Kaneki was left in the living room, alone with a couple that seemed to think they were going on a double date with him and Hide. He fiddled with his hands.

“So, Kaneki, right?” Nishio asked. “Are you really not Nagachika’s boyfriend? Because he lies about that shit all the time. It gets really old when he sneaks his ‘friends’ in, and Kimi and I wake up to a live action episode of Sperminator at three a.m.—”

“FOUND IT!” Hide shrieked from his room, sprinting out and leaping over the sofa to smack Nishio with the wallet before the other man could dodge him.

Despite himself, Kaneki found that he was laughing. Hide looked like he could die, Nishio looked like he was readily willing to be the _cause_ of his death, and Nishino had sidled her way up beside Kaneki, giggling along with him.

“Well, Nagachika’s treat! It’s a date!” Nishino declared, and grasped Kaneki’s wrist before whisking him outside and back to Hide’s car. She piled him in the back with her, both still laughing without really knowing why.

All Kaneki knew was that he hadn’t felt this happy, this _free_ in a long time.

By the time Hide and Nishio joined them, Kaneki had asked Nishino just what _exactly_ had she been doing to her boyfriend, and subsequently learned the art of stress massaging for beginners. Apparently, Nishio and Nishino didn’t want to have premarital sex, which Kaneki thought was interesting if not a little overly conservative. Nevertheless, it was sweet.

“But since we can’t relieve ourselves that way,” Nishino went on as Hide and Nishio climbed into the front seats, “I had to learn how to give nearly professional massages. Those are too expensive, and we’d have to drive into the city to get one anyway. But I’m taking medical courses at Kamii, so it’s not that hard to apply all the different massages.” She sighed. “Nishio’s no good at it, though. I make him cook for me instead.”

“More like make me slave away at every other chore in the entire apartment,” Nishio growled from the passenger seat, but his glare was obviously anything but genuine.

They arrived at the stilted café, greeted by the same girl with the purple hair job. She nodded to them, counting off and leading them to a booth. Kaneki was maneuvered to the window seat, Hide at his side, while Nishino sat across from him and Nishio to his diagonal.

“Well, here we are,” Nishio muttered.

“So!” Nishino clasped her hands together, addressing Kaneki. “How did you two meet?”

Kaneki shifted where he sat. Did they really think he was Hide’s boyfriend? He’d gotten the memo about Hide’s preference, but he didn’t think he would be assumed the same. The thought about it precariously teetered him on the edge of some darker thoughts, and he forced himself to stare down at the menu before him than meet Nishino’s innocently curious stare.

Sensing Kaneki’s reluctance to further the topic, Hide provided, “He’s opening a flower shop right next to my parlor. It was _such_ a pain in the ass to clear out that pet store owner’s shit. I mean, have some common courtesy and clean up when you get kicked out!”

Nishino sighed. “No one regulates things anymore. Even if he got foreclosed, I bet you this month’s salary he could’ve stayed at least another half a year. At _least._ ”

After that small speed bump, smooth idle chitchat ensued, and Kaneki felt himself actually participating in saying much about nothing at all for once. It was late into the afternoon when the pretty waitress came by again to inform them that the shop was closing early, and it would be appreciated if they vacated the café.

“That was so much fun!” Nishino said as Hide dropped her and Nishio off at their apartment. “We should go drinking next time! Nishiki’s a hilarious drunk!”

Kaneki waved them goodbye as Hide took off, back to the strip mall so Kaneki could pile into his own car and make way for his own awaiting bed.

“Your roommates were nice,” Kaneki commented. “Not as scary as you made them out to be.”

Hide laughed, ruffling his hair. “Well, they’re a bit strange, so sometimes people get a bad first impression. Great people, though, yeah. Madly in love. Gets kinda annoying for someone who’s so unlucky with it like me, but hey, I just can’t seem to hate them.”

Kaneki rested his head on the window, eyes focused on Hide. “So you’re gay?”

He didn’t know why he said it. He didn’t want to think about homosexuality, or what it entailed, at all. He’d left that behind. He wasn’t _denying_ anything—but it was a part of his past he never wanted to revisit. Yet here he was.

Hide glanced at Kaneki, hastily bringing his gaze back to the road when he saw that Kaneki was already looking at him. “Uh, well, bi, actually. But you don’t need to—like—worry, or anything, because you’re my friend, and I don’t—I don’t force myself onto other people if they don’t want it. You know? I dunno, I feel like that’s a bad stereotype, and…” He sighed, giving up. “You’re...cute, and everything, but we’re friends. I think.”

Kaneki couldn’t help but laugh. He didn’t even consider how strange that was, considering what they were talking about. “Yeah, of course we’re friends.”

The slight curve Hide’s lips gave was all he got in reply.

 

Kaneki plopped up the stairs to his apartment, more tired than the day before, though he’d done half the cleaning. All he wanted to do was unlock the door and collapse right after closing it. But before he reached the doorknob, he noticed a piece of expensive-looking paper printed with a rose border taped on top of his peephole. Peeling it off, Kaneki read the horrifyingly familiar cursive, written in red ink on white parchment.

_“Mon amour, you cannot hide from me.”_


	3. Unwelcome Rendezvous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trash.  
> Also, LOOK AT THESE UPDATING SKILLS. I have high hopes for this. MAYBE ONE DAY I'LL GET TO CLICK THE "COMPLETED" BUTTON AFTER ALL!!

Hide slept restlessly, his brain doing somersaults to mirror his tosses and turns. He couldn’t _believe_ how stupid he’d sounded the day before. What if Kaneki was just _saying_ they were friends? What if Hide’s being bi grossed the other boy out? Hide didn’t know what he would do if Kaneki ended up hating him.

He also didn’t want to think about why Kaneki’s opinion of him mattered so much.

He ended up rolling completely out of bed around six, deciding to take Nishio’s regular duty of making breakfast for once. In any case, he would just lie awake, staring at the ceiling and hating himself if he didn’t get up and do _something._

Unfortunately, Nishio was already alive and kicking. Well, cooking, to be exact. Hide sidled up beside his roommate and surveyed that morning’s selection.

“The fuck’re you up so early for?” Nishio muttered, adding a bit more salt to a pan of scrambled eggs.

Hide shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep. Thought I could help out with breakfast, but it looks like you’ve got that covered.”

Nishio rolled his eyes. “As _usual._ I’m glad you didn’t take your boytoy here last night, I actually got a full eight hours. For once.”

 _That_ ruffled Hide’s feathers. “He’s _not_ my boytoy, Nishio, he’s my _friend,”_ Hide snapped, bristling. “You don’t have to be such an asshole just because you can’t have sex with your girlfriend until you can afford a fucking ring.”

Nishio sent him a sharp glare, but said nothing more to egg Hide on. Instead, he put his spatula down and removed his apron. “Breakfast is ready.”

The small kitchen didn’t allow for much maneuvering around, so Nishio left the room while Hide plated himself. In all honesty, the apartment itself wasn’t exactly made for three people to live in, but they all somehow managed to make things work—at least most of the time. Mornings were brutal, though, seeing as their dining room was even smaller than the kitchen and only had room for a small four-by-four table, complemented by stools that were too tall for it. And since Nishino allowed _absolutely no one_ to eat in the living room, there certainly were mornings where Hide found himself hunched over the table surrounded by both lovebirds at the same time.

In all honesty, Hide wasn’t that hungry after a night of little rest. He plopped some eggs and slivers of still-sizzling bacon on his plate and retreated to the dining room. Sometimes, if he dared, he would eat in the living room while Nishino was at Kamii. But even then he would vacuum the entire apartment in case Nishino decided to do one of her _inspections_ when she got back.

He finished almost too fast and was out the door by 6:30. He wondered whether he should stop by Juuzou’s house beforehand, to take his mind off Kaneki and the consequences of everything that’d happened the day before, but he decided that Juuzou would probably turn up at his parlor sooner or later that day. He didn’t need to waste the extra gas.

 

For one, Hide did not expect to see Kaneki outside that early in the morning. It still wasn’t even seven yet. Additionally, he was sitting, knees tucked to his chin, in front of _Hide’s_ parlor, not his own shop.

“Kaneki?” Hide asked, locking his Kia. He walked up to the other man. “What’s up?”

When Kaneki turned to Hide, it was all he could do to hold back a gasp. Silver eyes greeted him dully, the purple hue and bags that sat under them a statement of their own. He was an absolute _wreck._ He was even wearing the same clothes he’d worn the day before.

Quickly, noting the chilly winter air, Hide took his beanie off and gently put it on Kaneki, making sure his ears were tucked up in the warm fabric. The fingers that brushed Kaneki’s face came away stinging—the boy was a walking iceberg.

“Oh my god, Kaneki, get inside,” Hide said, worry etched in his tone. He pulled Kaneki up as gently as he could and led him inside the parlor.

Well, began to.

Kaneki suddenly pulled back, wrenching his arm from Hide’s grasp. “I can’t.”

Hide turned back to face Kaneki, dumbstruck. “You what? Why?” He paused, taking in the way Kaneki cradled the arm Hide had held. “What’s going on, Kaneki?” He wanted to pretend he didn’t see the glaze of fear over those captivating eyes. He wanted to believe Kaneki was only shaking because of the cold. He wanted to _stop holding back_ and wrap himself around Kaneki, only letting go once the other boy _knew_ he was safe from whatever haunted him.

“I can’t be friends with you anymore, Hide.” Kaneki’s lips were trembling. “For your sake. Please, Hide, pretend we aren’t friends. It may have even been a mistake coming here…but just…please, Hide.” His voice became heavier, laced with tears. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Hide’s eyebrows furrowed. “Who’s—who’s going to hurt me, Kaneki?” he asked softly.

“He—he would. He would hurt you. I know he would.” Kaneki began to back away towards the flower shop. “I may not have a lot of time left, so I’m going to stay with the flowers, okay?” He wasn’t really asking Hide.

But Hide persisted. _“What_ are you talking about? Who is hurting you, Kaneki? Tell me!” For every step Hide made towards Kaneki, the other boy took three steps back.

“I wish I could have spent more time here,” Kaneki continued like Hide had never spoken. “I really do…”

“Kaneki, you’re not making any sense. Please tell me what’s going on so I can help you,” Hide tried, desperate to keep Kaneki outside before he could escape into his shop and lock the door.

Suddenly, Kaneki _did_ stop. “Hide,” he began, “if you don’t see me again, it’s fine, okay?”

Without a second thought, Hide took his chance. Lunging forward, he grabbed Kaneki by the arm (a bit rougher than he meant to) and pulled him close, wrapping the shaking boy in his embrace.

“Hide, STOP!” Kaneki screamed, pushing against Hide seemingly as hard as he could, and to Hide’s shock, that wasn’t very hard at all. But he persisted, holding on tighter, letting his warmth transfer through the thin fabric of Kaneki’s clothes.

“Kaneki, you’re important to me. Why the _hell_ would it be okay if I never saw you again?”

At that, Kaneki stopped fighting Hide’s arms and looked up at the other man. “You’re important to me too, Hide,” he replied, resolve hardening his voice but not doing much for the tears that threatened to fall at any moment. “And that’s why you can’t be seen…with me.”

Hide still wasn’t retaining _any_ of what Kaneki was saying. “But _why_? _What’s_ gonna happen to me? Kaneki, we’re friends, and even some crazy ex-girlfriend isn’t—”

Catching him by surprise, Kaneki put what may have been all his strength into a shove, breaking free from Hide. Pacing backwards and out of reach, he replied with misery in his eyes, “Sadly, Hide, he’s one crazy ex I can’t escape.” Rather than head for the door of the shop, Kaneki unlocked his car. “And I don’t want you to get caught up in him, just for my sake. So, please, Hide,” he breathed, and Hide watched the tears finally paint rivers onto porcelain cheeks, “if you really do care about me, don’t come looking for me.” A tearstained laugh echoed throughout the abandoned strip mall. “I don’t even really know why I came here…”

And without a proper farewell, without another glance at Hide, Kaneki was gone.

 

The tears didn’t stop as Kaneki drove. For Hide, who he’d just abandoned, and for himself, and what likely awaited him back at his apartment.

His fears were confirmed when he saw the telling red-and-purple Ferrari, juxtaposed against Kaneki’s shabby apartment complex. He almost didn’t want to get out, to face the fury that indefinitely awaited him, but he knew if he tried to run away again, he’d just be prolonging his fate.

So he parked, got out, and locked his car like he normally would. The steps up the stairs felt like a death march. Upon reaching his door, he didn’t try for his key. No, that little freedom was gone now. As were all others.

He knocked.

The sound of footsteps could be heard plainly, their inherent importance obvious on the rotting wood of Kaneki’s hallway. Kaneki hoped he didn’t look as shitty as he felt for his own sake.

His door opened at the hand of someone he had hoped and wished with his entire being he’d never see again. Tsukiyama Shuu did not smile when he laid eyes on Kaneki. Rather, he stepped to the side, beckoning Kaneki inside his own home.

His first step inside felt like the equivalent to a soul’s plunge into Hell. But that was what he was doing, wasn’t he? Kaneki wished he had savored the dawn light a bit more. It was the last he would see of it for a while, probably.

The moment the door shut, Tsukiyama was on Kaneki. He shielded his face for no particular reason—Tsukiyama had made a point to never touch Kaneki’s face.

“What the _fuck_ were you thinking, mon amour?” Tsukiyama hissed as he ripped Kaneki’s flannel open and off. “Did you think you could escape me? Non, our love is too strong, Ken…I cannot live without you, so I had to find you. Process of elimination, non?” Next went Kaneki’s jeans and undergarments. “But, mon amour, _where were you last night?”_

Kaneki’s back arched as nails dug into his sides. He clasped his hands over his mouth, trying to stifle the screams he knew Tsukiyama loved.

“Are you cheating on me, Ken?” Tsukiyama’s voice dropped to barely a whisper. His rage was evident in every syllable. “You know I do not forgive easily, mon amour, and I _never_ forget…” He dragged his nails down, crisscrossing with old scabs that reopened while carving new streams of red down Kaneki’s body.

“I’m not…” Kaneki gasped as tears began to flow again. “I didn’t…”

Tsukiyama removed his hands, the tips of his fingers dyed red. “I suppose _I_ will be the judge of that, non? Come along, Ken.” He stood. But before he began walking towards Kaneki’s bedroom, he paused, sharp purple gaze returning to the subtly writhing boy on the floor. He kneeled down and tore the beanie off Kaneki’s head. “What dreadful taste,” he remarked, clicking his tongue critically. “I thought I raised you better.”

Kaneki found no solace in the moments he was left alone. He knew Tsukiyama would be undressing, ready to break the days of abstinence he’d had to endure from Kaneki. These few seconds of silence were the calm before the storm. A storm Kaneki barely survived when Tsukiyama was in a _good_ mood.

But there was no second chance. His freedom was gone forever, dead to him now. He may as well simply forget the couple of days he’d spent with Hide and his friends, people he would have loved to one day call his friends as well.

He struggled to his feet, swaying heavily when he got that far. With the wall as his aid, he somehow made his way to the bedroom. He didn’t dare flick any lights on, and he noticed that Tsukiyama had effectively blacked out every window in his apartment.

Indeed, Tsukiyama was waiting for Kaneki on the bed. “Ken, how did you ever sleep well on such a vile mattress? I would never have you suffer so.” Kaneki wanted to gag. He’d take a cheap mattress over Tsukiyama’s “love” in a heartbeat.

“Come here, mon amour. Let me hold you.”

The words sent chills down Kaneki’s spine, but what could he do other than obey? Tsukiyama had money, resources, even political power. He’d been a fool to believe he could get away from this hell. He had to accept that _this_ was his life now. But his glimpse of what could have been gnawed at his gut. Hide’s hurt and confused expression was engrained in his mind, even as he crawled into Tsukiyama’s awaiting arms, so different from the ones he’d rejected earlier that morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate Tsukiyama's shitty French speech fetish fuck you I have no idea what shit to throw in there when you talk I hate you but I love you my sweet (fucked up) child. You're also tacky as hell.


	4. Do as I Please, Not as I Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter update before keeping up with fic chapters meets keeping up with school :') I haven't beat the system yet, but maybe quintillionth time's the charm?  
> Also, here's my apology in advance. Cheers to Kaneki's unattainable happiness!

Kaneki Ken didn’t know what day it was.

It had been a Monday when he moved in.

He screamed.

The next day, he’d met Hide, and his friend Juuzou. Hide brought Kaneki to a sandwich café, and they’d bonded, somehow. Kaneki wasn’t quite sure anymore.

A muffled cry escaped him as a hand covered his mouth.

Wednesday, he met Hide’s roommates, and went one something like a double-date. He’d had more fun then than he ever remembered having in his life.

After that, all he could remember was coming home to let Tsukiyama fuck him. Tsukiyama was now biting into his neck, drawing blood, and something that felt like thick fabric was now lodged above his tongue to stifle his shrieks.

“Ah, my Ken, although I do love your screams, we cannot disturb your neighbors,” Tsukiyama admitted, as if he could read Kaneki’s thoughts. But who knew? Maybe he could. Kaneki, however, knew nothing at the moment; the blindfold that smothered his sight had an equal effect on his mind.

Fortunately, he didn’t have to worry about how much he would hate how pitiful his pleading moans sounded. He didn’t want to remember all these purposefully contradictive sensations—the sharp sting of his own breaking skin combined with carefully cultivated orgasm. The feeling of hands, hands everywhere, hands that _owned him,_ hands that he could not see. The feeling of another inside of him, eliciting undeniably erotic sounds from his throat despite himself.

“Yes, they do not have the _privilege_ of hearing you, mon amour,” Tsukiyama continued, and cold fingers wrapped around Kaneki’s neck as he thrust to the beat of his own drum. “Only I may hear you in your weakest moments, my beautiful boy.”

Kaneki wondered faintly how Tsukiyama could talk, because space was a vacuum, and sound had nowhere to go up there.

As Tsukiyama’s grip and thrusts became more desperate, Kaneki felt himself floating away. He didn’t even feel when the manicured nails of Tsukiyama’s left hand embedded themselves within the flesh of Kaneki’s hip. Maybe space was Limbo, and he would waste away there. At least he wouldn’t be here, in this Hell of the Damned.

Then, the hand retracted itself from his neck, leaving him spluttering around the cloth, revived.

“Ah, mon amour,” Tsukiyama breathed, ripping the fabric free from Kaneki’s mouth, “you truly are the best. But I deserve nothing less, do you not think? I deserve you, Ken. And you deserve me.”

Something touched his lips in the pitch blackness. It took Kaneki several moments to realize that Tsukiyama was kissing him. Even then, he made no attempt to return the favor.

That is, until Tsukiyama noticed.

“Ken,” he whispered, hands sliding down from Kaneki’s neck, one hand reaching under Kaneki to grasp his testicles with an unspoken “Don’t try me.”

Kaneki then opened his mouth, kissing as eagerly as he could pretend to while his arms were tied back to the bedframe. Their tongues entwined briefly, and Tsukiyama caught Kaneki’s own, sucking on it as if it were a treat to be savored. Kaneki couldn’t suppress a shudder, and felt his traitorous cock twitch in response.

He absolutely could not survive another round.

Luckily, Tsukiyama either didn’t notice or simply didn’t heed Kaneki’s reaction, and he slid his teeth down along Kaneki’s tongue as he let go.

“Mm, fantastique, mon amour…” Tsukiyama’s whispers were deceivingly feather-light. Reaching up, he undid the bindings that held Kaneki’s arms to the bedframe, but left the blindfold. Kaneki’s terror-induced tremors felt like heaven on Tsukiyama’s bare skin, and they were made more intense by the darkness of the unknown. He didn’t want to spoil that.

Kaneki could tell he was being cradled to Tsukiyama’s chest. The thought of himself, so powerless against this man, wracked his body with painful shudders that immediately calmed his lower half. Tsukiyama’s hands, wet with what had to be semen and blood, massaged soothing circles on his back. Or what would have been soothing, had they not been tracing over new and open wounds.

“Ken, do you love me?” Tsukiyama asked suddenly, one of his hands wandering upwards to caress Kaneki’s matted hair.

Knowing the consequences of his true reply, he nodded as best as he could.

“Then why did you run away from me, Chaton?”

There was an undertone of menace that Kaneki could only pick out from years of living with Tsukiyama. The first time Kaneki had done something to upset the man, he got spanked. Now, years later, it would be inconceivable to believe he’d get off so easily.

“I wanted…to play…” Kaneki rasped. “Hide and…go seek…”

Because he’d be damned if he didn’t know that Tsukiyama loved a good game.

Well, more damned than he already was.

At that, Tsukiyama chuckled softly, and he craned his neck to place a chaste kiss atop Kaneki’s head. “Ah, Ken, you never fail to surprise me.” A pause. “You did run off to quite the unusual place, though, mon amour. No clues, and a portion of my money mysteriously vanished? I certainly did not interpret your little instigations as a _game,_ mon chaton. I thought you may leave me for another.” Tsukiyama chuckled again at his own joke.

Deaf to Tsukiyama’s humor, Kaneki tried not to stiffen. He really did. But the fact that Hide’s smile, like sunshine itself, appeared before him in the darkness, seized his muscles in fear of what might happen to the blond if Tsukiyama were to find out that Kaneki made a _friend._

Tsukiyama’s hands stopped. “No,” he growled. Kaneki wondered if he was still talking to him. “No, what a fool I am. What a pitiable _fool!”_ The soft hands that had been touching him like a prized pet were now clawing at his back in Tsukiyama’s frustration. “Of course, you cannot stay _two days_ in some wretched hillbilly town without _fucking_ anyone like the goddamned _whore_ you are!”

Kaneki’s screams resonated throughout the small apartment, undoubtedly penetrating through the thin walls and beyond. Because who really gave a damn about neighbors, anyway?

As abruptly as they’d began tearing at his flesh, Tsukiyama’s hands stopped, and he pulled Kaneki ever-closer to his chest. Kaneki had no time to digest any whiplash, as his tormentor was already speaking again.

“Mon amour—my sweet, confused Ken…I will find whoever led you astray. Who did this to you? Who has made you suffer so?” Tsukiyama asked, cradling Kaneki’s head lovingly.

Kaneki’s thought process hit a wall. He didn’t know what the hell Tsukiyama was talking about. The only one that was making him _suffer_ was the man accusing another of being the culprit. Ah, hell. He felt like vomiting. And Tsukiyama hated cleaning up after Kaneki. It was merely an invitation to violate Kaneki again and again until he really _did_ die.

And Kaneki knew the man was capable of it.

“No one, Shuu…” Kaneki replied. It took every last drop of self-restraint he possessed not to spit the man’s name. “I haven’t…talked to anyone…”

Tsukiyama clicked his tongue. “As much as I would love to believe you, mon chaton, I do not.” He paused, considering. “Which brings me to my next question: What have you done with my flowers?”

Kaneki’s heart sank to his stomach. If this conversation went where Kaneki _knew_ it was headed, Tsukiyama would make Kaneki lead him to the flower shop. And if Hide was there…

So, in desperation, Kaneki reached up blindly, his hands falling delicately on Tsukiyama’s face. Wordlessly, Kaneki sought out the other man’s lips with his own, resuming their kiss. He felt Tsukiyama jolt in surprise, but he went along at Kaneki’s own pace, pausing once or twice so he could place misleading kisses along Kaneki’s cheekbones and forehead.

“Ah, my Ken, how I have missed you...”

 

Juuzou knew who it was the moment the doorbell rang. Who else would take the time to bother him at seven in the morning? He opened the door to find _who_ he expected, but even then, Hide seemed off from the moment Juuzou laid eyes on him.

And suddenly, the joke that Juuzou had armed his tongue with was gone. “What’s wrong?” he asked, stepping aside to let Hide in. The man looked like he’d been through hell and back, all before a morning dose of coffee. Or maybe that was it, and he’d just skipped the coffee.

“Kaneki, Juuzou. _Kaneki._ He’s acting weird,” Hide burst out, his voice trembling with uncontained disquiet. “He was…saying weird things this morning. He was waiting for me, outside the parlor. And he was just…he looked so scared. Oh my god, Juuzou, he looked terrified.”

Juuzou tilted his head to the side, then decided it would be best to take the conversation to the living room. At any rate, if Hide’s introductory ramble was anything to gauge by, it sounded like it was going to be a long one. Hide followed and settled into a red, expensive couch, opposite where Juuzou sat on the armrest of a matching plush chair.

The moment he hit the cushion, Hide was off and running again. “He told me that someone would hurt me. Someone that he knew. Because of him, I think? I don’t know, maybe it’s because of me. But I _know_ Kaneki wouldn’t push me away for no reason like that. We’re…friends.” He nearly choked on the word.

“How’d he push you away?” Juuzou asked, not completely immersed in the conversation. He reached over and peeled the plastic wrapper off one of the many lollipops that lay scattered on his coffee table.

“I tried to tell him everything would be okay, because well, how could anyone hurt me when I have you on speed dial? But he wouldn’t listen to me. He wouldn’t listen, and he drove away. And I don’t know where he lives, so I can’t follow him. I don’t even have his stupid cell phone number…”

Juuzou gave the lollipop an experimental lick, then popped it in his mouth when the pleasant taste of cherries met his tongue. “And then?” He was just humoring Hide at this point. He knew what Hide wanted him to do.

“I need you to find him, Juuzou. I need you to help me get back to him. Because he made it seem like he’d been…found, or something. And I have a feeling he didn’t really want to be,” Hide said. “I need to protect him from whatever he was trying to protect _me_ from.” Undiluted concern was evident in every worry line on his face, and it was hard for Juuzou to tease Hide when he was like that, so he dropped his posturing.

“Okay, Hide. But you owe me now,” Juuzou singsonged, and he pulled out his phone. “He lived in an apartment, right? Assuming he’s not already gone?”

Foreboding lodged in his belly, Hide tried his best to think back, wondering whether Kaneki had ever mentioned living in an apartment or house. “I mean…probably…”

Juuzou sighed. “This’s really tough on me, you know…”

Hide smiled, a tired thing that died as quickly as it lived. “Thanks, Juuzou.”

As Juuzou stood and left the room to make calls to his dealers, Hide’s mind drifted back to his disastrous meeting with Kaneki earlier that day. Kaneki had looked so fragile and vulnerable in those last moments, when he’d started to cry. Hide wanted to find the cause of that pain-filled expression that was still fresh in his mind’s eye and obliterate it until there was nothing left to remember. Because even in the two days he’d spent with Kaneki, he believed the man didn’t deserve…whatever had come for him.

And he was willing to fight for that belief.

“Hide,” Juuzou said as he reentered the room, “I found him.”

Hide jumped up, relief and tension mixing to send an odd variant of adrenaline coursing through his veins. “Where is he?”

“One of my dealers remembers a kid with white hair moving in recently. Touka. I can drive you there,” Juuzou offered.

Hide sent a grateful glance Juuzou’s way before hustling out the door. “Thanks, Juuzou. I really do owe you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your comments, bookmarks and kudos and whatnot! Love you all!


	5. Brooding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO DIDN'T HAVE SCHOOL TODAY. Looks like chapter-school juggling will begin tomorrow, after all.  
> Be warned of the added tags and the fact that I have a headcanon that Juuzou would definitely smoke some, uhh, questionable substances if he was ever introduced to it.  
> P.S. What is maintaining a business? Hide wouldn't know.

Hide couldn’t believe Kaneki lived in such a shabby apartment complex. He caught sight of Kaneki’s car, an old Ford Taurus, and the eccentric Ferrari parked next to it.

Who the hell owned a Ferrari while living in such a dank area?

Though that thought was insignificant compared to what Hide was there for. He turned to Juuzou before getting out. “What room?”

Juuzou checked his texts. “She said apartment twenty.”

Hide nodded and was off.

After a few minutes of poking around on the ground floor, he realized the double-digit rooms resided on the second floor. Weird, but nonetheless, he climbed the stairs to resume his search. Thankfully, just to his left he found the door with large rusted brass plates depicting the number “20”.

Making his way over, heart thrumming in his ears, he knocked.

 

Kaneki’s mind went blank when he heard a knock on the door.

There he was, stark naked, with a man twice his size looming over him, lust denoted plainly in his dark eyes. The man, too, stiffened when he heard the knock.

“Mon chaton, I thought we had _discussed_ that no one knew you,” Tsukiyama said, and Kaneki wished for the previously removed blindfold so he couldn’t see the rage that so swiftly replaced his lust.

Even so, Tsukiyama stood and began dressing himself. Another set of knocks sounded on the door. “Coming, coming,” Tsukiyama soothed, just loud enough for the visitor to hear. Kaneki tried to slow his panicked heart that drummed painfully fast within his chest, to the tick of an out of control pendulum.

_Hide doesn’t know where you live. It can’t be him._

After loosely buttoning his dress shirt and pulling up his slacks, Tsukiyama crossed over Kaneki’s apartment to his door. But not before sending a warning glare to Kaneki that said, “If you make _any_ noise, it’ll be your last.”

The door opened.

Kaneki screwed his eyes shut.

“Good afternoon,” Tsukiyama said pleasantly. “Do you have business here, sir?”

There was a silence that followed. A silence that was too long to be natural, and did nothing to ease Kaneki’s whirring mind. Then, his stomach took a plunge when the visitor spoke.

“Y-yeah, I’m looking for Kaneki Ken?”

It was _Hide._

_It was Hide._

There was a slight drop in Tsukiyama’s tone that told only Kaneki that he was in deep shit. “Ken is, unfortunately, sleeping at the moment. He had a, ah, rather _rough morning._ ” Kaneki could _see_ the condescending smile Tsukiyama was giving Hide right then.

Hide didn’t answer for a few seconds. When he finally regained his bearings, he said, “Oh, uh, right. Well, I just wanted to let him know that he left the shop unlocked.” Kaneki reopened his eyes, widening them to their limit. Hide needed to _shut up._ “Uh, it took forever to move all the flowers in and arrange them, so I just don’t think he’d want them stolen. If you could let him know for me when he wakes up, that’d be great.”

_Oh, shit._

“Of course, of course! Thank you for letting me know.” Tsukiyama paused, as if debating something. “Yes, we will go over later to see how it is faring. Ken can be quite the airhead sometimes.”

At that, Tsukiyama slammed the door. Kaneki struggled subconsciously against the restraints Tsukiyama had reapplied earlier.

“You had not _met_ anyone, oui, Ken? Is that not what you told me?” Expression lit with anger, Tsukiyama straddled Kaneki, enfolding both hands over his neck and beginning to squeeze. “Why have you lied to me?” His voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned down, placing his lips just next to Kaneki’s ear. “Did you fuck him?”

Kaneki shook his head with all the vigor he had left, though it was difficult with Tsukiyama’s hands obstructing his movements. But Tsukiyama’s grip tightened still at his denial.

“You dirty _fucking_ liar, mon amour!” Tsukiyama raged, his nails joining the assault on the bruising, sensitive skin. Kaneki felt the sensitive flesh break, and warm liquid that could only be blood obeyed gravity to drip onto the bed. “But then, _then, mon chaton,_ who would _want_ to fuck you, with all my love imprinted upon every _inch_ of your body? You are _my_ masterpiece, Ken, and no one would dare touch you…”

At his own egotistical realization, Tsukiyama released Kaneki’s neck, leaving him to gasp and splutter for beloved oxygen he’d been deprived of.

“Ah, Ken. Oui, I believe you,” Tsukiyama said, his tone obviously telling otherwise. “So, we are going to visit this _flower shop_ that kind man so kindly informed me of. Were you going to leave _that_ little detail slip under my nose as well, Chaton?” He stood, and picked up the rest of his garments. “Clothe yourself in something…suitable.” His gaze raked down Kaneki’s naked and abused body.

Kaneki was glad it was winter.

 

Hide walked as fast as he could back to Juuzou’s waiting car. He could barely feel his legs. He could barely feel anything.

That man _had_ to be the one Kaneki had been so completely afraid of. And Hide abandoned him. Just like that. Fuck all of his high and mighty business about fighting for what he believed in—the man looked classy, rich, and _important._ No matter what lovers’ quarrel they could be going through, Hide couldn’t compete with that.

“Step on it,” Hide snapped as he shut the door. He didn’t bother with the seatbelt. Juuzou complied immediately.

“Let’s go to that one bar, that served that really good whiskey that one time.”

 

Twelve shots later, Hide was rambling. His incoherent words, slurred with hiccups and the multiple, spontaneous slips of “Kaneki” were finally beginning to annoy Juuzou.

“Hide, can we leave now? You’re really getting on my nerves, and I left my pipe at the house…”

Hide suddenly grabbed Juuzou’s arm, looking at him with as much delirious concentration as he could manage. “Juuzou…you’re gonna go smoke, right?”

“Yeah, if ya’d _let_ me.”

“Can I tryyy?”

Juuzou shrugged. “Why not? So let’s go, let’s go!” Seizing his chance, Juuzou ushered Hide out of the bar, and back into his car. He didn’t really care if Hide was being serious; he was fine either way, as long as he could get the hell out of that place and the pressing buzz of _too many_ people having _too many_ conversations around him.

The drive back was full of Hide continuing to talk about how much he hated foreign pricks with weird accents. He also started talking about how cute Kaneki was when he smiled, but he cut himself off before Juuzou could tell him to shut the hell up, and didn’t speak again for the rest of the ride.

Once Juuzou successfully dragged Hide inside and into the living room, he made way for the kitchen. He decided to start Hide out light, especially in his intoxicated state. He pulled out one of his pipes and a medicine bottle, then returned to the living room, where Hide was moaning about Ferraris.

Hide turned his attention to Juuzou, finally, when he started packing his pipe. “What’s that, Juuzouuu?” he asked, picking up the bottle.

Just as quickly, Juuzou snatched it back and replaced the cap, knowing that Hide would probably try to dump it on the floor if given free reign any longer. “Marijuana. Nothin’ strong, really, just relaxes you. And you need it,” he added, nodding to Hide, who was now spread-eagled on Juuzou’s couch.

“I wish Kaneki was here,” Hide whispered.

Juuzou rolled his eyes. “Why’re you so taken with him, anyway?” He probably shouldn’t provoke Hide in his current state, but he just refused to shut up, so Juuzou may as well go with it.

Hide sighed heavily. “I don’t know…he just, I don’t know. Appeared, ya know? And I was like, whoa. This man…Kaneki...’s like he’s inhuman…” He ruffled his blond mullet, eyes screwed shut. “But…in a good way.”

Done packing, Juuzou turned to pick up his lighter. It laid hidden among the multicolored lollipops, more for his own aesthetical pleasure than anything devious like camouflage. He lived alone, anyways, so what was the point of hiding it from no one?

Before he began taking hits, he moved to sit beside Hide, tapping the other boy’s shoulder. “Like this.” He closed the hole with his thumb, flicked the lighter alight and breathed in. Hide watched, intrigued.

After a few decent hits, Juuzou leaned back and nodded to Hide. “So? Want any?”

A few moment’s contemplation followed his question, and resolutely, Hide shook his head. “I think…I’m good, actually.”

Juuzou laughed. “May not be as drunk as you think, Hide,” he said before placing the pipe back to his lips.

Hide laughed and sat back. “Maybe not.”

They continued like that for a while, Juuzou growing less responsive as Hide found his voice again. Even so, the alcohol in his body and the encounter with who could only be Kaneki’s _boyfriend_ weighed heavily and tiredly on his mind.

On the edge of his thoughts, just before he slipped into the realm of unconsciousness, Hide envisioned how genuine Kaneki’s fear had appeared. Faintly, and drunkenly, he decided it couldn’t be some lovers’ quarrel. And he swore, if he felt anything for Kaneki (like he knew he did), he would get to the bottom of whatever was indeed happening.

A moment later, he was out.

 

“Disgusting,” Tsukiyama spat. He’d driven Kaneki over to the strip mall, the smaller boy clad in his heaviest coat and scarf, to evaluate Kaneki’s store.

“I cannot _believe_ this is what you have done to my precious beauties, Ken. Ah, my asters, what have you done…”

Kaneki could barely hear Tsukiyama’s protests. His eyes were trained on the tattoo parlor next door, praying that Hide wouldn’t come bounding out and into Tsukiyama’s surely subsequent wrath.

And yet, at the same time, a small, disloyal part of his conscience _wished_ he would.

He didn’t linger upon wondering why.

Unbeknownst to him, Tsukiyama had exited the store and was now at Kaneki’s side. It was only when he wrapped an arm around his shaking shoulders when Kaneki acknowledged his presence. Still, he had eyes only for the parlor, praying to a god he didn’t believe in—for Hide’s sake.

Another arm encircled him, Tsukiyama at his back. “What are you thinking, mon amour?” he asked, his soft timbre hitting mocking notes in his ear. Tsukiyama’s lips were so close they were nearly touching the pale, untainted shell of it. “Are you preoccupied with thoughts of _him?”_ The man’s arms tightened and teeth nibbled with faux gentleness at Kaneki’s ear. “Mon amour, I could never hate you. That much, you know, is inconceivable. So tell me… _did you fuck him?”_

Somehow, Kaneki found his voice. “I didn’t,” he croaked. “I promise you, Shuu, I didn’t. He just helped a pitiful newcomer out. That’s all.” He hoped Tsukiyama would pardon the wobbly insincerity of his voice, passing it off as unchecked exhilaration or something at being so close in public. Tsukiyama always liked showing off what was his to those without.

From the way Tsukiyama’s fingers dipped under the coat and began massaging Kaneki’s chest, he took that as a small victory.

“Chaton?” Tsukiyama said, laying his head down to rest on Kaneki’s shoulder.

“Y-yes?”

“I will stay here with you, for a time. This town could be amusing, maybe even beneficial to me in the future. And you _must_ clean up the flower shop you put so much effort into making for me.” Tsukiyama raised a hand to pull down Kaneki’s scarf, kissing over the open wounds he revealed. “I do love my present, mon amour.”

Kaneki squeezed his eyes shut as he focused with all his might to keep the tears at bay. Tsukiyama only liked when he cried in bed.

And what Tsukiyama liked was Kaneki’s law.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the short chapter, but I've officially planned out the next four, and this is setting some wonderful n angsty stuff up for later.


	6. Telltale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: fluff ahead. Lots and lots of fluff.  
> *I had like 0 time to edit this chap so if there are grammatical or continuity errors you'll have to bear with me...I probably won't edit this until tomorrow. Maybe. Probably not, because I'm going to get a free facial after school, but that's beside the point. Sry not sry.  
> P.S. I am shit for not doing a good job on responding to comments but I love all of you and I will try harder to get back to you all <3

Kaneki didn’t greet Hide when he passed the other man by to get to his own store. He was wearing a thick, puffy overcoat, with a woolen scarf to match. He made no plans to take them off, even upon entering the warm, air conditioned interior of his shop.

But, apparently, Hide’s agenda didn’t coincide with his own. A tattooed arm, visible by the way his pullover sleeves were pushed up, caught him by his own clothing.

“Kaneki,” Hide said, his voice hard and eyes trained on ones that refused to look back at him. Biting his tongue to conceal the words he actually wanted to say, he continued with reluctance. “I need to know you’re okay.”

Still, Kaneki didn’t look up. “I’m fine, Hide. My…” He almost shuddered. But he had to play his part. Lying had never been one of his best qualities, but after years of living with Tsukiyama… “My boyfriend and I just had a fight. Nothing to worry about, really.” He felt Hide’s grip slacken at the word “boyfriend” and made his move, wrenching his arm away and making haste for his shop.

However, Hide refused to stop there. He followed Kaneki inside, and watched in silence as Kaneki began rearranging flower pots to and fro. All the while, he attempted to formulate some sort of condolence, some sort of “I hope it works out” in his mind, but the damn thing was blank.

Kaneki had said it himself. That pompous asshole was Kaneki’s boyfriend.

“If you don’t need anything else, can you please leave?” Kaneki was now moving the asters.

“You don’t need help?” Hide returned, making way for a nearby cluster of pansies.

“Don’t touch anything!” Kaneki snapped, and Hide recoiled. He looked up, ready to see a face full of anger and distaste, but what he saw was completely different.

Those same tears that had haunted his drunken stupor the day before were there, lighting up those silver eyes again like dewy moonstones.

“Kaneki, I—”

“Hide, leave!” Kaneki shouted, his voice cracking at his name. “I don’t need help, I need you to leave me alone!”

Hide’s eyebrows drew to a v-like shape above his eyes. “Kaneki, if you think I’m gonna leave you when you’re like this, you’re dead wrong. Remember yesterday? I care about you too much to let you…” He ran his hands through his hair, fighting for the right words to say. “To let you suffer like this. I hate seeing you like this, Kaneki.” He hoped he’d gotten his point across. He couldn’t help but feel a prickle of smugness at his indirect insult to that _boyfriend._ If _Hide_ were Kaneki’s boyfriend, Kaneki would never cry again.

This time, he didn’t try to deny that he did _indeed_ think that.

Kaneki took a deep, shuddering breath. “If you care about me like you say you do, then _leave.”_ His tone of finality, the hard line his lips drew, his _eyes_ mandated that Hide left, before Kaneki really began to hate him.

But was Hide ever good at listening to instructions?

Hide slowly strode toward Kaneki, purpose echoing from the soles of his boots. He stopped a mere half foot away from the pale boy. Kaneki remained still, looking unsure as to whether he was holding his ground or forfeiting at that point.

And before he could come to a clear decision, lips warmer than the air around him found his own.

At first, Kaneki didn’t know what to do. He could feel the ire that would positively radiate off of Tsukiyama if he were there. But he…wasn’t.

So Kaneki kissed back.

Somehow, the sensation felt as if it were something that was long postponed, hanging in the air around them whenever they’d shared a laugh over an artful sandwich or thrown pet toys at each other like children. It was like finally letting go of a breath that had been long since due to exhale.

Four days too long.

And as their kiss deepened, as Hide wrapped his arms around Kaneki, assuring him that he was safe and sound, Kaneki wondered if it would have happened earlier. Or maybe it wouldn’t have happened at all, and he’d still be peacefully tending to those asters Tsukiyama had dismayed over, if it weren’t for that man. But as he returned Hide’s embrace—finally—he decided that he didn’t care.

After what felt like an eternity cut too short, Hide sighed and pulled back, a hand sliding up Kaneki’s back to his face to wipe at the tears that had fallen without his notice. A small smile broke through, warming Kaneki to his core.

He let Hide hold him like that for longer than what seemed appropriate, but he wasn’t complaining. The hand that cradled his head, brushing the soft hairs there didn’t send cold shivers down his spine, and unintentionally entrapped Kaneki in the other man’s warmth. Captivated, he couldn’t think of a decent reason to tell Hide to stop. Because why would he want him to?

Yet, just as Kaneki’s eyes closed, just as he began to feel _safe,_ the doorbell chimed.

They both jumped, Kaneki’s heart already stampeding beneath his chest.

“Hi I—, oh, shit, am I interrupting something?”

Kaneki felt the blood that had been pumping on overdrive rush to his cheeks. It was the waitress from the café.

And, incidentally, his first customer.

In his peripheral, he saw Hide run his hands down his face, exasperated. “Holy _jeez,_ you scared the crap out of me.” He paused. “You’re, uh, Touka, right? Juuzou’s—err—friend?”

She nodded absently, more interested in the way Kaneki was inching away from Hide as discreetly as he could.

“Uh, well, I _came_ here to buy some flowers for my girlfriend, and the sign _says_ you’re open…” She grinned, a sly gleam in her eye. “But if you two are _busy_ or whatever, I can come by later.”

“N-no, of course not,” Kaneki spluttered, fighting the hot sauna that had taken up residence under his skin. “Just—are you looking for a particular type of flower, or…?” He really wished Hide would be a _little less obvious_ in “trying” to hide his laughter.

“Something for love that isn’t as cliché as roses,” she deadpanned, making her way completely inside the shop and loitering her way around the perimeter.

Kaneki nodded, and as his mind became preoccupied with flowers, he abandoned the lingering sense of fear that had snaked its way up his throat. Touka was not Tsukiyama. Alright, then. Love. Women in love.

He had to admit, he didn’t have much variety in stock, and he settled on the best he could find. Admittedly, he hadn’t even brought roses along with him.

Holding up a pot of white carnations, he presented them to Touka. “These are carnations, a symbol of innocence and pure love,” he said, brushing away his embarrassment at how cheesy _that_ particular line sounded. “And they match any room scheme.”

Touka laughed, reading his joke delivered in perfect monotone with ease. “They’re pretty. Yeah, I’ll take ’em. How much?”

For a moment, her question didn’t register with Kaneki. “Oh…no, just—take them,” he said, waving her off. “I don’t need them.”

At first, it seemed like Touka was going to protest. But Hide interjected before she could get a word out. “He’s had a bit of a rough day,” he said, edging back up to Kaneki’s side and wrapping a gentle arm around his shoulders. “If you really wanna pay, it doesn’t have to be now.”

After a second’s worth of consideration, Touka smiled. “Thank you…?” she trailed off, expectant.

“Kaneki,” he finished, returning her smile.

“Thanks, Kaneki. Well, I hope to see you two again at the café!” She took careful hold of the carnations and exited, leaving Hide and Kaneki alone once again.

When the door finally clicked shut, Hide exhaled and collapsed to the floor. “Oh my god, Kaneki. I thought—”

“Let’s not talk about that,” Kaneki interrupted, albeit quietly.

“What…the kiss?”

“No, not that. About Tsukiyama.”

Hide’s eyebrows creased before recognition relaxed them again. “Oh, Tsukiyama as in…your boyfriend?”

Kaneki nodded faintly.

Hide stood again, acutely aware of the way Kaneki was fidgeting in discomfort. “So…the kiss was okay?”

A nod.

“But talking about your asshole boyfriend is a no?”

A sardonic grin complemented the next nod.

Hide sighed. “I dunno what you see in that jerk,” he mumbled.

“Like you should be talking,” Kaneki retorted, smile still present. In fact, Kaneki was edging closer, finding Hide’s neck with his feather-light touch and closing the distance between the two of them, kissing like nothing had happened to interrupt them. Hide smiled into the kiss, all teeth, and Kaneki couldn’t help but join him in a laugh that ended with them both parted and clutching their sides.

“What the hell kind of joke is that?” Hide gasped, eyes watering.

Kaneki didn’t allow the question to hit home. He himself didn’t know why he could so easily _joke_ about a man who he loathed, the cause of years of untold suffering. Suffering he didn’t want to revisit. Yet here, sweating under layers of clothes he shouldn’t need to be wearing, he was laughing with Hide, as innocent and carefree as a teenager in love.

He didn’t know why, and he sure as hell didn’t care.

 

Tsukiyama stretched, his sleep disturbed by mockingbirds greeting the late morning sun. Just _how_ his Ken had survived even a day without him, he didn’t know. His love was used to the finest, silken sheets, expensive down featherbeds, and most important of all, _soundproof fucking walls._

Before he could panic, his mind replayed scenes from the day before gradually as he woke up. Ah, yes, he remembered telling his Ken that he could tend to the flower shop as he pleased. He smiled at the Post-It note that clung to the bedroom door, _“Gone to tidy your present. -K”_ scribbled across its yellow surface.

The only thing that soiled his good mood was the lingering doubt he harbored about Kaneki’s chastity. Kaneki was _only_ allowed to have eyes for him. He knew he had engrained that into his love’s very soul by then.

Even so, the effort Kaneki had put into their lovemaking the night before returned to him, and he sat back on hard, cheap pillows, choosing to lay his trust in the one who was so dear to him. Kaneki was a terrible liar—that much, Tsukiyama knew. There was no way he could repeat the same lie with such conviction like he had under every stimulation Tsukiyama had utilized on his kitten.

Absolutely none _._

Kaneki forced his eyes to remain open, even when the boy began crying. He looked barely eighteen, as if he had been waiting his whole life to get a tattoo of some girl’s name on his arm.

Hide sighed. “I really don’t know why you’d wanna do this, man,” he remarked as he wiped away droplets of blood that began to form. “Nothing ever lasts. Life’s not like that.”

Before the kid could reply, the needle returned to his bicep, and he cringed, small rivulets leaking from his tear ducts. He was obviously trying as hard as he could to stay strong, but ended up making him look like a constipated preteen.

“Kaneki, could you fetch me that cloth?” Hide asked, not looking up. Kaneki’s head swiveled as he tried to locate what he was looking for, then spotted a towel on the table at the far side of the room. He made his way over and snatched it up, trying his best to ignore the stench that engulfed him in doing so. He placed it on Hide’s lap with two fingers.

“Thanks.”

The hours passed by in silence that was only broken with the occasional phrase of encouragement Hide would offer the teenager he was working on. After what seemed like days, Hide did a final wipe of the tattoo and stood, stretching as he did so.

“Alright, and you know how to take care of that, right?” Hide asked as he walked the kid out to the front room to pay. Kaneki didn’t follow. He sat there, staring at the chair that had just been vacated.

What would Hide do if he returned to see Kaneki sitting there?

Unfortunately, he didn’t get to find out. Hide walked back in a split second later, beaming. “Am I good, or am I good?” He plopped down in the chair next to Kaneki, surveying his room from the corner where they sat.

“This’s a pretty nice vantage point you got here,” Hide said.

Kaneki smiled. “So you _can_ be serious when you want to be.”

Hide sent him a pout that was anything but convincing. “Well, _you_ can be funny, when you wanna be,” he returned.

Kaneki laughed. “I suppose so.” Leaning sideways so his head made a pillow of Hide’s shoulder, he closed his eyes. He didn’t want to think of how addictive Hide’s warmth was—even if he remained in his stifling coat and scarf, and was completely drenched in sweat at the moment.

“Hey, hey, _I’m_ the one that should be tired,” Hide muttered, and in turn, rested his head on Kaneki’s.

And as the sun began to fall back to the horizon, the two fell into a tranquil sleep, uninterrupted by nightmares or persistent mockingbirds.


	7. With a Snap of His Fingers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE AND I DID IT ALL IN AN AIRPORT CHARGING CAFE. ALSO, CHICAGO IS SO PRETTY??? I LOVE THE CITY TEXAS IS EW.  
> But in all seriousness, I would like to apologize to everyone who may have walked into this fic without prior knowledge that it contained physical abuse and/or an abusive relationship, as I didn't tag it for the first six chapters. I'm truly sorry, and it is now tagged.  
> Thanks for reading!

Kaneki got back to his apartment late. Too late. He felt the usual cold rush of dread begin to take its course, replacing the warm and yellow joy that had spread through his insides earlier that day with Hide. He almost contemplated fleeing once more.

…Almost.

He opened the door, and the smell of home-cooked food greeted him as he crossed the threshold. Despairingly, he walked into the kitchen, tail between his legs.

“Welcome home, Ken.”

Kaneki froze. He jerked his head up, and there stood Tsukiyama, fully decked out in an apron and oven mitts. He couldn’t speak; all his energy flooded towards keeping his jaws stuck together. He needed to act normally.

Tsukiyama took his silence well. “Does it not smell wonderful?” he asked, positively beaming. And as he began listing off everything he’d cooked and how he’d made it, Kaneki’s voice returned to him, though his astonishment at the fact that he wasn’t being interrogated at the moment had no less subsided.

When Tsukiyama was done with his monologue, Kaneki gulped, hoping his vocal chords wouldn’t fail him. “Thank you…for making dinner, Shuu.” It was nine o’clock. While living at Tsukiyama’s own estate, he’d never had a curfew due to the fact that he was never allowed to _leave,_ but he’d assumed it would be an unspoken rule he be back to Tsukiyama by sundown.

Yet there was no sign of anger at all in the other man’s elated smile. It wasn’t feigned, either. So Kaneki tried his best to simply roll with it, and although his improv skills used to be as untrained as his lying abilities, he’d learned.

“I do hope you are hungry, mon amour. There is enough here for two rounds each…” Tsukiyama continued, and he reached out to Kaneki to pet his head. Kaneki closed his eyes, praying he wouldn’t flinch. When he didn’t, he couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief.

“Ah, you look exhausted, Ken. Go sit, and I will dish you.” Tsukiyama retracted his hand and clicked his tongue, turning back to the finished entrée. “I had to go out and buy ingredients and kitchen utensils to make this, mon amour. This is _truly_ pitiful. How you do not miss home, I simply cannot understand.”

Kaneki laughed weakly, plopping down on one of the three cheap chairs that surrounded a matching old wooden table, thankful to be off his rubbery legs.

While Tsukiyama plated the two of them in the kitchen, Kaneki’s mind whirred. Was this a ploy to lower his guard? He honestly didn’t think so, but he couldn’t decipher the meaning of Tsukiyama’s lack of aggression at his late arrival. He’d never trusted Kaneki before. Trust (as far as Kaneki knew) didn’t exist in Tsukiyama’s world, from past to present.

All too quickly, Tsukiyama joined Kaneki, sitting across from him after placing a plastic bowl of something that made his mouth immediately water in front of him.

“What is it?” Kaneki asked despite himself, picking up his utensils and digging in with unabashed vigor. Tsukiyama’s ever-present smile deepened at the sight.

“Mushroom risotto,” he responded, his tone suggesting it was something trivial. “Not anything too grand. You do like simple dishes, after all.”

Kaneki didn’t notice the way Tsukiyama kept his eyes fixated on the other the entire meal, barely touching his own plate. As he continued to eat, he began to realize how hungry he was, and how long it had been since he’d eaten a proper meal. He went through three bowls of the risotto, only stopping when his throat refused to swallow any more.

Once he was done, Tsukiyama cleaned up for the two of them and suggested Kaneki go to bed. Full and high on satisfaction, he complied, crawling under five dollar sheets when he got that far without ceremony. He didn’t bother to take off his sneakers.

But he needn’t do that anyway. A few minutes later, he was joined by Tsukiyama, and the other man helped Kaneki out of his day clothes, peeling off the scarf and coat that hid what he’d done. He didn’t give the wounds a second glance.

Before Kaneki could tense under the heavy realization that he was once again alone with Tsukiyama, the man took off his own clothes, replacing them with satin pajamas. Without another word, he climbed into bed next to Kaneki, spooning him from behind.

“Goodnight, Ken.”

Even on a full belly, Kaneki didn’t sleep that night.

 

That morning, Kaneki rose before Tsukiyama. He knew the man was a heavy sleeper, and preferred waking when the sun was shining high in the sky rather than before it rose at all. Turning his phone’s alarm off as quickly as he could so he wouldn’t rouse Tsukiyama, he dressed in the dark, using only his phone’s dim light to see. In consequence, he ended up picking out a green turtleneck and red jeans, but he couldn’t spare the time to worry about his senseless ensemble once he noticed.

His phone beeped, signaling a message. As he left the apartment, not bothering to lock the door behind him, he smiled. It was Hide. Another of twenty-seven messages he’d gotten from him the night before.

Memories from the day before still tugged at him, bliss dyed in unease. He and Hide had exchanged numbers at long last, accompanied by conversations concerning the tattooing industry these days. Hide tried to talk politics, but as neither he nor Kaneki were well versed in that field at all, they’d dropped it, laughing. Even the quick pecks that were exchanged still blossomed a fuzzy feeling in Kaneki’s middle.

But nothing that made Kaneki happy ever lasted. And for that, he was terrified.

Then again, Kaneki was beginning to realize it wasn’t so much _his_ happiness, but his and Hide’s _shared_ happiness that he wanted to protect. Maybe more Hide’s than his own—he didn’t quite know yet.

Checking back through all the texts on the phone, of which the only other contact was Tsukiyama, he gathered that Hide had a very…animated style of writing.

Emoticons. Emoticons everywhere.

One text stood out to him, particularly because it lacked an emoticon: _“meet at café, noon. wont be at work today, Juuzou has a fever im taking care of rn, but Nishino and Nishio will meet us there”_

Kaneki suppressed a sigh as he read that Hide wouldn’t be at work, but smiled at the prospect of another date. A _real_ date. He hurried down the stairs to his car, early birdsong calling to him as he went.

 

Tsukiyama awoke before Kaneki for the first time in years. He didn’t stir as Kaneki rose a few minutes later, carefully getting dressed in something that would cover Tsukiyama’s love marks using only the light of the smartphone Tsukiyama had given him months ago on a whim. He did, however, pull himself from the bed and walk to the blinded window to peer at Kaneki as he left the apartment. It was something of a one-sided sendoff. He liked seeing his Ken in his candid moments, when he wasn’t awestruck by the weight of Tsukiyama’s love.

But after a moment of watching, his blood ran cold.

His Ken was smiling—a smile that should _only_ belong to Tsukiyama himself—down at that smartphone. At texts that were most certainly _not_ from him.

Kaneki bounded down the stairs, an obvious skip in his step. Tsukiyama’s stomach lurched. Who was Kaneki going to see? Who the _fuck_ did he _think_ he was going to see?

The only person Tsukiyama could picture in that moment was the kid with the bad hair job who’d disturbed him and Kaneki the other day. But, if that was anything to go by, the only one who’d been “disturbed” was Tsukiyama.

The drop down from his high of unquestioned trust he’d given Kaneki was enough to make him tremble with rage. Apparently, he didn’t know Kaneki as well as he thought.

_Apparently_ , his Ken could lie.

The cunning little whore.

He suited himself in dark clothes, knowing exactly what he was going to do.

 

Kaneki pulled in a few more customers that day. More than less of them were just intrigued by the weird move-in who hadn’t gone around town to meet everyone. Some ended up buying a few assortments of flowers, but most made idle conversation before leaving, with “meet the new resident” checked off their to-do lists.

Finally, eleven-thirty came around to greet him by way of red digital numbers beside the register. Pulling on his weird ensemble, making sure everything was covered, he left, flipping the “open” sign on the glass door to “closed”.

A strange feeling of solidarity followed him to the café, and it was only as he was pulling into the makeshift dirt parking lot did he realize that was the first time he’d driven to the café without Hide. Somehow, that made the corners of his lips turn up, smiling at his own otherwise tired reflection in the rearview mirror.

He climbed and entered slightly early, and was prepared to find a table for himself before a familiar call stopped him in his tracks.

“Kaneki! Over here!”

Kaneki found Hide sitting with Nishino and Nishio at the very same table they’d occupied the last time they ate there together. He walked over, not fighting the smile that seemed to be permanently glued to his face.

As he sat, Nishio said, “Okay, let’s lay down some boundaries before we begin. Uh, first off, no porno shit at two in the morning—”

“Oh shut up, Nishio,” Hide laughed, and Kaneki found himself joining in. Nishino wore a smile big enough for the three of them.

“You two are cute,” she said. Shamelessly, she continued, “Nishiki also owes me twenty bucks, since I called it.” A lighthearted groan was her only reply.

“But Kaneki,” Hide began, hand covering his lips to smother his giggle, “why do you look like Christmas threw up on you? It’s, like, three weeks away.”

Kaneki shrugged, not really wanting to be reminded of his morning in which he woke next to the person he least wanted to see. “I was feeling adventurous, maybe?”

As they talked, Touka made her way over to take their orders. Just as she left to get them ready, another customer entered the shop to enlarge the café’s current occupation to five total plus Touka.

But that one person made all the difference.

The blood drained from Kaneki’s face when his brain finally distinguished _who_ the person was. Hide, too, was silenced. Kaneki didn’t dare look at him, not with Tsukiyama’s eyes locked with his own, gleaming with millions of unspoken threats.

“Guys?” Nishino asked, waving a hand in their lines of sight. Then she and Nishio turned to look at the newcomer. “Who’s that?”

Kaneki gulped, though there was nothing to send down the sandpaper chute that was now his throat. “Hide…” It was barely a whisper.

Under the table, Hide wrapped his hand, firm and safe, around Kaneki’s. “Don’t, Kaneki.”

Those words sent tremors down his spine. He wondered hopelessly if his paranoia had finally taken hold, if maybe this was all in his head, and in reality, he was sitting and laughing with his friends as he had been seconds ago. But that liquid, livid glare of Tsukiyama’s (that was now directed at Hide) was all too real. He’d seen it too many times before, _felt_ its effect as if it’d trained him, to believe it was anything else.

“Hide, he wants to kill you,” Kaneki rasped. “I can’t. I can’t let him touch you.”

“Kaneki, he can’t do anything to me.” There was a pause. Kaneki knew Hide was trying his best to return that scowl. “I…I promise.”

Maybe if Hide had sounded more sure of himself, _maybe_ if he hadn’t faltered, Kaneki would have remained in his seat at the booth and continued on as if Tsukiyama wasn’t even there.

After a moment’s consideration, Kaneki pulled a quivering hand up to yank down his turtleneck shield. He heard Nishino gasp, but he kept his gaze on Tsukiyama. The bastard looked _proud._

“Holy shit…” Hide’s voice was a mix of disbelief and horror. “Kaneki, _he didn’t.”_

Kaneki grit his teeth. “He _does.”_

And with that, he stood on unreliable legs, leaving Hide in a whirlwind of confusion, repulsion, and anger.

“Ah, Ken. Whatever are you doing here?” Tsukiyama asked as Kaneki approached, his timbre echoing throughout the café. In his peripheral, he saw Touka hesitate, not sure whether she should wait the table or not.

“I was with friends, Shuu,” Kaneki replied, his voice as loud as a shy mouse’s.

Tsukiyama nodded, his eyes flicking back to the table. “Mhm. And what a _lovely_ surprise that sitting there is the same man who visited _our_ apartment the other day.” He tilted his head, and returned his gaze to Kaneki. “What a coincidence.”

Kaneki jumped at the slap of hands slamming down on table. “Listen, asshole,” it was Hide, his voice shaking in either fear or fury, “what the _fuck_ are you doing to Kaneki? What the—are you _sick?_ You’re killing him!”

But the man didn’t even glance back at the table Kaneki had left. “It seems like the customers here lack common courtesy, Ken. Shall we leave?” He stood, his question tainted with a hint of finality. There was no refusing him.

“Yeah—” Kaneki cut himself short. Relentless tears filled his eyes without warning, and there was nothing he could do to stop them. Panic flowing in his very blood, he glanced back at Hide without thinking, meeting eyes full of the same anguish.

A forceful hand grabbed his chin from behind, spinning Kaneki around. “Ah, mon amour, stop these tears,” Tsukiyama shushed, padding his thumb over a pale wet cheek. “Come.” He slid his hand down Kaneki’s arm, grabbing a still-shaking hand and leading him from the café. Before the door closed behind him, he heard another slam of hands against granite, and then all was silent.

 

Hide was glad the tears held themselves back until Kaneki was gone. One after the other, cascading without rest, he pulled his hands into his hair, clenching the bleached strands in a sad attempt to channel the maelstrom of emotion that ate at his insides like acid.

“Hide, who _was_ that? Oh my god, Kaneki…” Nishino looked on the verge of tears as well. Nishio’s expression was still fixed in the look of revulsion he’d donned when Kaneki showed them his viciously abused neck.

“That…” Hide could barely choke any sound out. “That was Kaneki’s…boyfriend.”

“The fuck?” Nishio spat. “The _fuck?”_

Hide shook his head, hair still caught in his fingers. “I think…I think Kaneki came here to leave him…but he got found out, and…” He wiped his eyes, attempting to finally stem the tears that seemed like they could fall forever. “He needs me. I need to get him.”

“Wait, but what the—can’t we call the police on him?” Nishio spluttered, looking from Nishino to Hide. “I mean, that’s fuckin’ domestic abuse right there.”

Hide’s mind, working on overdrive, immediately worked out a contradiction to Nishio’s suggestion. “That guy, Tsukiyama…he could say that Kaneki likes it. He could _make_ Kaneki say he likes it.” The tears stopped. “No, I’ll go confront him. I’ll—”

Suddenly, the piercing beep of Hide’s ringtone cut him off. Whipping it out of his pocket, the ID read “Kaneki Ken”. Hide wanted to throw it across the room, knowing who it would really be, but he accepted the call.

“Hide.” The boy in question nearly collapsed when it was indeed Kaneki’s voice that spoke to him. “Don’t come, please. Please don’t come.”

Silence was all that was said after that.

“God _dammit!”_

 

Kaneki resigned himself to his fate during the death march home, tastefully fashioned as a ride in a Ferrari.

“Ken.” Oh, the things Tsukiyama’s very _voice_ did to him. He wondered if he would live, and it was a strangely lucid thought, as if everything happening now was a dream and he was merely spectating from a sideline far, far away.

“I’m not upset with you, mon amour,” the man continued. “I know you are a whore. I knew that when I fell in love with you. So I know that you cannot contain yourself all the time. That is why I must keep such a close eye on you, Chaton. Because I _understand._ But you have to reciprocate. You have to understand _me,_ and _my_ needs, Ken. I need you to stay loyal to me.” Eyes remaining on the road, he reached over to stroke Kaneki’s hair. “Okay, mon amour?”

Kaneki nodded, his tears flowing heavier as he forced his head up and down.

“Good. Now out, out.” He parked and ushered Kaneki out first, then led him by the hand up the stairs like he was a child who needed constant parental supervision. But maybe that’s exactly what Tsukiyama thought.

Once inside the bedroom (why did things always end up there with Tsukiyama?) Kaneki sat on the bed, ready to be torn to pieces. Tsukiyama dawdled in the living room, sifting through various Louis Vuitton suitcases.

“Ah, here you are.”

Kaneki looked on with detached interest as Tsukiyama entered the room, polished silver metal clanking in his hands.

“You see, I _understand_ , but I cannot trust you as I wish to, Ken,” Tsukiyama said, his tone full of patronizing concern. He clicked one ring of the manacles around Kaneki’s wrist, the other to the bedpost. He then snatched the phone he had let Kaneki use for the last time to call Hide with, to warn him, to keep him safe, and chucked it at the wall. It shattered spectacularly. “And I was _going_ to love you so well tonight before I left. Such a shame.” Straightening up, he stared down at Kaneki, looking as conflicted as he could fake. Or maybe it was real. Kaneki didn’t really care.

But then, without touching Kaneki further, he left the room.

“I have a business meeting I must attend tonight, Chaton,” Tsukiyama explained from the living room. “But since I cannot trust you not to run around with common strays, you must _understand_ why I had to resort to this.”

Kaneki blinked as the metallic noise of suitcase zippers buzzed from the other room. Almost immediately after, a door was opened and closed, and the tumblers of a lock clicked, leaving Kaneki alone and abandoned, tied to his bed.

He didn’t _want_ to understand why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it obvious I have absolutely no idea how to cook? :')


	8. Skin, Like Roses, and All Its Thorns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, long absence, I know. But, not without good reason: I ended up landing on another girl's foot and fucking up my knee during my tournament in Chicago, and as it turns out, I have a completely torn ACL and partially torn MCL. AKA, my knee is toast, and imma need to get some surgery done in a few weeks. Nbd. It is DEFINITELY KageHina angsty oneshot inspiration though, amiright? Maybe even a short multichapter? Who knows? I'll be out for at least six months so the possibilities are endless.  
> ANYWAYS, I realized this fic just flies by. Blink and you may miss, like, all the plot. But I'm certainly not complaining, b/c unless it's fluffy fuzzy stuff, filler can die. Along with some character development it may have been a good idea to add. But that's beside the point.  
> Thank you for reading, and I am actually really sorry if you read all of that.

The first thing Hide did was call Juuzou. Outside, he saw Kaneki’s old Taurus sitting in the parking lot, abandoned. The sight almost brought about another round of tears, but he wrenched his gaze away, heart beating madly and mind racing with thoughts of only Kaneki. He wouldn’t give up on him. And why should he? The memory of Kaneki’s wounded gaze—one of which was deprived of hope, denied the courage to ask for help—stabbed at his heart.

Juuzou picked up on the second ring. “Hide?” His voice was gravelly, afflicted by illness. “What’s up?”

But then Hide realized he couldn’t rely on Juuzou. Not for this. Resurfacing from his thoughtless stupor, he hung up, knowing full well that Juuzou was in no condition to talk him out of going to Kaneki’s place. At the same time, Hide was also aware that he didn’t really want to be talked out of going anyway. Confrontation was inevitable when Kaneki was suffering at the hands of some demented bastard for no reason other than the man’s own pleasure.

But before he could load into his Kia, shouts rang from behind him.

“Hide, you fucking idiot. Get over here and talk to us!”

“Where are you going?” Nishino’s voice cracked—she sounded desperate. Hide didn’t know what it was, but although Kaneki had only been with him and his friends for a short time, it was obvious he’d laced a possessive sort of intimacy through all of them. Hide, nor Nishio or Nishino, wanted to see Kaneki hurt.

“He said it himself,” Nishio said, “not to come for him.”

Hide turned sharply around to face the couple. “If you don’t wanna help me salvage a friendship—a _love_ I’ll never be able to forget if I let it go now, then just…leave.” Hide himself could hear the teary upset in his voice, undisguised. He felt naked, but he had to bare his feelings for Kaneki for his friends to see. And maybe he didn’t completely understand them either, but couple or not, he cared for Kaneki, and there was no reason to see him suffer at the hands of a madman.

Nishino shook her head. She looked from her boyfriend back to Hide, resolution evident in the expression that replaced her waterworks. “You’re right. Kaneki doesn’t deserve this. We’ll help you, Hide. Even if…we have to go over there.”

Nishio looked like he wanted to scream. “This isn’t a game! This is fuckin’ _life,_ guys! Kaneki made his decisions, that’s definitely a _fact_. And even if it’s fuckin’…domestic abuse,” he cringed, and Hide could see him remembering Kaneki’s wounds, “it’s not really our job to go over there and save him, or what the fuck ever you wanna do.”

Hide only offered him a weak smile in response. He had been planning on going in alone, facing a man he feared by proxy. “Then don’t come.”

 

Hide sped down the small country roads at speeds barely acceptable on a highway. He wished his damn Kia would go faster. He wished he knew what the hell he was doing.

Hide, along with Nishino _and_ Nishio, arrived at the complex parking lot only after an infinite amount of outcomes had played out in Hide’s mind. Kaneki dead at the hands of Tsukiyama, dementia visible in those eyes that had glared so savagely at him in the café. Kaneki being tortured to the brink of that. Kaneki under Tsukiyama, in pain…

His betraying thoughts were like shanks to his chest, but he couldn’t stop them from overpowering him, controlling him. After a few deep breaths, he turned to the couple sitting in the backseat.

“We need to be…civil. Nishino, you have the police on dial, right?” Hide asked.

Showing him her cell screen, which displayed the numbers “911”, she nodded. Hide sighed. The burden of his premonition could’ve crushed him.

Upon a final weigh of his thoughts, Hide nodded, and exited the car, followed by Nishio and Nishino. He started up the stairs, tottering on his legs as his mind flickered between a reality where Kaneki was still alive and one where he was dead. He really did prefer the former.

And with small beads of sweat budding at his hairline, he raised a knuckle to let it fall without ceremony on the cheap apartment door.

His nervousness quickly receded when no one replied.

He knocked again, impatient now. When absolutely nothing happened again, he started yelling. “Open the door, Tsukiyama! I know you’re in there!”

As if to test his rapidly decreasing patience, Tsukiyama didn’t open the door. He didn’t even throw out a tacky taunt from the inside of the apartment. The quiet began to rejuvenate his doubts and, unnerved, he banged on the old wood, blood pumping with hurried drive in his veins. What if something _had_ already happened?

A minute of bashing, a bruised hand, and several neighbors’ shouted complaints later, Hide’s hope was nearly nullified. Not knowing what else he could do, he turned back to Nishino.

“Any chance you got a bobby pin?” he asked, already kneeling in front of the doorknob. Shakily, she nodded, and pulled one of her hair. Auburn bangs fell back down above her eyes, as if shielding them from what she may see.

Unbending it and sticking it in the lock, Hide moved it with little control. After what felt like years of twisting and stabbing, it clicked, and with a cold claw of apprehension gripping his heart, he opened the door.

An impeccably clean living room was his only welcome; so different from the glimpse he’d gotten of it when he’d met Tsukiyama for the first time.

Hide walked as quietly as he could, waiting for an ambush, a groan on the brink of _something._ And then it came.

The sound of clanking fucking metal.

From the bedroom.

“Kaneki!” Hide was there in a blink. There, on the bed, lay Kaneki…untouched. Save a wrist handcuffed to his bed.

The look on Kaneki’s face would have been comical under different circumstance. “Hide, what are you—what if he comes back? You have to leave, Hide. Now!”

Hide dropped to Kaneki’s bedside, bobby pin in hand and already working the lock that kept Kaneki to the bed. “Where the hell’s he now? I’ll fight him. I’ll keep you safe, Kaneki.” He paused, then turned to Kaneki where he lay, and placed his hands gently on the other boy’s cheeks. “I promise you, I will keep you safe with me.”

Hide expected another shout, another warning, but none came. Instead, Kaneki bit his lip and turned his eyes away. A nod followed, and Hide could have collapsed in relief. Kaneki wasn’t rejecting him; he was just worried for him, as Hide had been. And Hide could work with that.

With a few more probes and another click, Kaneki was free, and Hide pulled him close. “Kaneki…” He smelled his hair; it smelled of perspiration and dirt. Like Hide’s own personal incense. “Okay. We’re gonna leave now, Kaneki.” Hide pulled back and stroked the other boy’s stark white hair. “Is that okay? We’re leaving this apartment. Together. We’re going back to my place.”

Kaneki nodded, though it was slowed, and Hide thought he looked almost sedated. “Yeah…I need to sleep…”

The blond reached around and pulled Kaneki up. “You can sleep all you want in the car.” Slipping the other boy onto his back, Hide reentered the main room. “Nishio, can you pack Kaneki’s things into the car? He doesn’t have much, just some clothes...” Nishio nodded and was off.

“Where did Tsukiyama go, Kaneki?” Hide asked as he exited the apartment, feeling fresh winter air hit his lungs. Nothing had ever tasted sweeter.

“Something about a business trip,” Kaneki mumbled in reply.

 _He was just going to leave Kaneki chained to his fucking bed like that? Oh my god, that’s insane. I can’t believe how strong this little guy is…_ Hide felt his throat choke up. _He’s been suffering for so long. He deserves so much better._

Hide loaded Kaneki into the passenger seat, and within ten minutes, his clothes were packed and the foursome were ready to leave the complex. For good, if Hide might add.

Putting the old Kia in reverse, they were gone.

 

Kaneki woke in thick sheets that weren’t his own. Light filtered into the room, gracing him with easy sight. And what he saw, he couldn’t believe.

“Hide!” Kaneki jerked up, almost surprised that no restraints wrenched him back. “What the—what happened? Why are you here? Or wait—why am _I_ here?” He gulped in air. “What’s going on?”

Hide, who was sitting at the desk in the corner of the room, spun around in his computer chair. “Oh, you’re awake!” he chirped. “Okay, let’s see. I picked you up from your apartment earlier today, I’m here because this is my apartment, _you’re_ here because I love you, and you’re staying here. That’s what’s going on.” He flashed a smile. “Your bed hair is cute, by the way.”

Kaneki blinked slowly. Once, twice, thrice. Hide had done _exactly_ the opposite of what Kaneki had asked of him, and yet there he was, free of Tsukiyama yet again. With allies this time. And on top of that, he was with someone who just said, among other things, that he _loved_ Kaneki—and not the sort of surrealistic love Tsukiyama offered.

At the very thought, something sprung inside Kaneki that compelled him to somehow repay Hide. After all, love wasn’t free, if he’d learned anything from his experience with Tsukiyama.

Kaneki pulled off the sheets, finding footing on the quality wood flooring and making his way over to Hide. He sat on the other man’s lap, pulling Hide in for another hug to follow one he vaguely remembered happening earlier that day. He then rested his head on the other boy’s shoulder and heaved a sigh that released the weight of a thousand burdens into the room around them.

Hide wrapped his arms around Kaneki. “Why’d you do it, Kaneki?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you stay with him?”

Kaneki held Hide tighter, and felt him return the favor. He wanted to stay like that, in that place, at peace, _finally,_ but at the same time, his mind ached with need to _do_ something.

So, instead of answering Hide’s question (one he wouldn’t have wanted to answer either way), he slid out of their shared space to the floor, on his knees between Hide’s own. Instantly, Hide’s cheeks flushed.

“Kaneki, what the hell—”

Paying no heed to Hide’s following weak-at-best objections, he unzipped the man’s denims, nearly smirking when the blond’s grumblings then dissipated to nothing but unspoken expectation. Potential energy buzzed around the two like sparks, and Kaneki could feel his own body heat up in response to it.

Hide was already semi-hard when Kaneki pulled him out. “You were sitting on me…” Hide mumbled in explanation. Kaneki breathed out a laugh, and Hide hitched as warm air hit his cock.

“Kaneki, if you really want to do this, then— _fuck!”_

Without waiting for Hide to finish, Kaneki swallowed him, and had the good grace to ponder how Hide would like it. Tsukiyama liked teeth, but when the other man had given the same treatment to Kaneki’s lower half, he hadn’t appreciated it as much as Tsukiyama seemed to. Staying on the safe side of the blow line, Kaneki minded his teeth and worked his tongue instead, pressing against Hide’s underside as he sucked.

“Jesus, Kaneki…”

Hide’s voice, faded in all the right ways, made Kaneki’s middle flutter in anticipation. He didn’t expect their shenanigans would end there.

With newfound vigor, Kaneki propped himself to a more suitable angle, his knees aching on the wood, and his stomach tightening as Hide came closer to the brink, if his formidable grip on Kaneki’s hair or the way he was almost bucking into Kaneki’s mouth was anything to go by. With that in mind, Kaneki took the other boy all the way, noting the difference in Tsukiyama’s size to Hide’s but appreciating the latter’s all the same. Being completely honest, Kaneki didn’t exactly prefer choking on dick every night.

A few more desperate thrusts into Kaneki’s mouth and Hide was biting his hand to keep his voice in check. Of course, Nishio would be pissed if he found out a porno really _was_ taking place in the adjoining bedroom.

“Kan—Kanek—I’m gonna—”

Kaneki saw his chance and sucked deep, his cheeks hollowing at his effort. Hide’s bite drew blood and a final, strangled moan rang throughout the otherwise silent room as he came. Kaneki swallowed, undeniably pleased with his job. He released Hide and stood, his knees pulsing, but his mind already focused on certain _other_ endeavors. He slid onto the bed, content to wait for Hide until the man snapped out of his post-orgasm daze.

After what felt like an hour, Hide stood from his computer chair, nearly slipping as the wheels betrayed him and rolled the chair away before he could trust his balance. Nonetheless, he made way to his bed where Kaneki lay, still clothed.

Without words, Hide slid atop Kaneki and they each found the other’s lips. Guided by steady purpose, the kiss deepened, and shirts were tugged off with messy haste, leaving their respective heads of hair in disarray. Next, Hide went for Kaneki’s pants, but stopped short. Breaking the kiss, he looked down.

“You’re…”

Kaneki bit his lip. He’d noticed it, too. Though his stomach continued its periodical round off back handsprings, his lower half remained unbothered. Kaneki could be potting flowers at that moment and it wouldn’t feel any different.

“Let’s just keep going,” Kaneki tried, sitting up. “It’s just—weird. Well, not weird, but nice. You know,” Kaneki added, his voice dropping when Hide cocked his head in question, “being treated…like this.”

Hide’s brow furrowed, but he followed up with a nod. “Alright. Okay.”

But things went downhill from there. Hide, now sobered from his previous blowjob high, poured all his efforts into trying to get Kaneki hard, which simply wasn’t happening. After a few more minutes of fruitless and uncomfortable attempts at furthering their skinship, Kaneki felt the sting of tears prick behind his eyes. Sliding away from Hide, he huddled himself at the head of the bed.

“Kaneki?”

“What is _wrong_ with me?” Kaneki choked out, tears not yet formed but the lump in his throat all too real. _“Why is this happening?”_

He closed his eyes and felt Hide slide over to him, pulling Kaneki into another hug. It was unrequited. “No, Kaneki. Nothing’s wrong.” A soft hand stroked his head, and Kaneki felt the golf ball in his throat fade to a thick yet still unpleasant sensation. “Nothing is wrong, Kaneki.” Another pause. “Ken. You’re probably just not in the mood, y’know? Happens to me all the time. In high school, me and some friends went on a vacation to Hawai’i, and me and this one girl tried to get it on after swimming, but I just _could not_ get it up. I mean, perfect scenery and all that, but I _did_ see a shark earlier that day, and I’m pretty sure every time she tried to suck me off, all I could picture was shark teeth down there—but _anyway…”_ Hide trailed off and laughed, and Kaneki found himself giggling, too. He tried not to think of the way his heart beat faster when Hide called him Ken.

“So you think trying to make me jealous will turn me on?” Kaneki teased, though his voice was still hoarse and fake. Hide, knowing Kaneki’s good intentions, laughed with heart at his retort.

 _“Well…”_ the blond drawled, nuzzling Kaneki’s head. “Did it work?”

Kaneki peeked out from the hermit shell he’d made of himself. “Not in the slightest.”

“Hey! That really happened, you know! Sharks everywhere…”

Kaneki fully unfolded himself at that, his smile barely reaching his eyes, but still there. “Right, right. Even sharks want your ass.”

Hide scoffed. “As they should.”

Sighing again—something Kaneki was growing as accustomed to as breathing itself—Kaneki burrowed under Hide’s covers. “Let’s just…forget about that. For now at least.” He patted the pillow next to him.

Hide complied to Kaneki’s gesture, smirking as he went. “Me, Nagachika Hideyoshi, being invited to _my own_ bed…” He turned to steal a kiss from Kaneki’s forehead. “The nerve, man.”

And for the second time that day, Kaneki fell asleep to the warmth of safety.


	9. Wrath and Covet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we get on with the chapter that sets up the rest of the fic for utter demise and angst - I want to give a HUGE thank you to all of you for your kind words. Seriously. It's always nice to know how my fic is being received, and although sometimes I feel like y'all are too nice, your comments never fail to make my day. I just...y'all are too awesome, and I don't deserve you :')  
> Much love, and sorry for the long note, again.  
> (P.S. Can I suggest listening to Risk It All // The Vamps while reading this? Bc WHAT a fitting HideKane jam.)

“Shh! Kaneki’s sleeping!” Hide’s sharp hiss cut Juuzou off as he spoke in his usual unrestrained manner. He held a hand to Juuzou’s lips, eying the bedroom door as if Kaneki would storm out in a sleepy frenzy, but nothing happened. Satisfied that they were safe, Hide released his friend.

Juuzou stuck his tongue out, not pleased at being shushed. “ _Anyways,_ like I was sayin’, what did you call me all in a fit about earlier?” he asked, dropping his voice with a noticeable begrudging undertone.

Hide shrugged. “I was…dealing with stuff that’s already been dealt with.”

Dissatisfied at Hide’s explanation, Juuzou crossed his arms and hopped onto the couch. “Mhm. I’m guessin’ that _stuff_ had everything to do with _that one?”_ He cocked his head toward Hide’s bedroom door.

“Not right now, Juuzou,” Hide sighed, joining him on the couch. “We’ve all had a rough day.” Juuzou gave an unsated cough in response.

A door opened, and Nishio entered to join the pair in the living room. He opted for the chair placed perpendicular to the matching sofa. Without introduction, he began, “Hide, I _fucking asked._ I asked _nicely._ ”

Juuzou relished the sweet revenge of seeing Hide’s face flush tomato red.

“I—I didn’t mean—Kaneki was just like, hey—”

“Stop.” Nishio ran his fingers under his glasses to rub at tired eyes. “Just…I don’t even want to know. Do that shit when I’m not home or something, god.” He removed his hands, flipping his glasses askew. “You didn’t even last that long…”

Before Hide could ready an explicit retort, Nishino walked in to join the three.

“Don’t mind him, Hide,” she offered, sitting herself on Nishio’s lap. She leaned over and cupped a hand at her mouth. _“He was in the bathroom for a few minutes after.”_

“What the hell, Kimi, I was _not_!”

She sat back, leaning completely onto Nishio as if to smother him. “You weren’t supposed to hear that,” she giggled, and reached around to pat him on the head.

Hide laughed, and noticed that even Juuzou looked amused. Hide could never tell how Juuzou felt about his roommates; their conservative tendencies had never really struck a chord with Juuzou’s own hobbies and beliefs, but he was always civil towards the two, and Hide supposed he could live with that.

After a bit of idle chat, their conversation expired, and they sat as if in wait. Hide didn’t exactly want Kaneki to wake up, but at the same time, he felt a need for his presence. Because leaving Kaneki to his own devices wasn’t a good idea, as per experience.

Upon deciding to leave Kaneki be, and with nothing to preoccupy his thoughts, his mind drifted to the surprise blowjob he’d received, and its aftermath. It wasn’t hard to guess why Kaneki hadn’t become hard, and Hide didn’t want to pressure the other boy into something that would drive him to his subsequent state again. Above all else, Hide _hated_ seeing Kaneki cry. And if keeping those porcelain cheeks dry meant abstinence—well, hell. He’d been around his roommates long enough, he could already consider himself a pro.

“Is Kaneki asleep?” Nishino asked. She was now giving Nishio a hand massage—Hide filed that particular tidbit away for future reference.

“Yeah, he’s out. Cute as hell when he’s asleep.” His words were met with a smile from Nishino and a groan from Nishio.

“Don’t let him drag ya into anything I wouldn’t be able to handle,” Juuzou said, not looking at Hide but clearly addressing him.

Hide nodded, albeit a little reluctantly; he didn’t need to be chastised by Juuzou. “Yeah.”

Suddenly, Juuzou snapped his head around and locked gazes with Hide. “I mean it.”

Not knowing what else to do, Hide laughed him off. “Right, okay.”

 

It had been a tiring two days for Tsukiyama. Kanae had been riding his ass for months to finally follow through with an appointment he’d set with some big corporate douchebag whose only talent was talking capitalism and profits—as mundane as mundane got. During most of their trip (they had gone golfing) Tsukiyama occupied his lethargic experience by imagining ripping the man’s oversized diaphragm out and using _it_ as a golf ball instead. That, and his Ken, no doubt waiting for him right where he’d left the boy.

Tsukiyama knew he wasn’t going to be getting any sleep that night.

Pulling in to the beat-up parking lot of Kaneki’s apartment complex felt like slipping in a warm bath, especially after driving for three hours straight from the airport. _Why_ Kanae booked his meetings in resorts halfway across the country, Tsukiyama never asked, but he certainly didn’t care for them.

He opened the door, a war veteran returned from the front lines. He didn’t explode with an ostentatious greeting as he usually would, but flicked his loafers off without care, heading straight for the bedroom.

For a moment, he thought he was seeing things.

But that moment passed, and then, he saw red.

“No.” Tsukiyama picked up the handcuffs that were left on the floor, empty and clanking, a lonely sound. “Not _again,_ mon _fucking_ amour!”

He didn’t know what to do. But he couldn’t contain the shaking spasms that overtook his body—couldn’t control his arm as it sent the cuffs sailing through the bedroom window, glass shattering and mirroring the chaos that reigned in Tsukiyama’s mind.

Why was his Ken playing games? He couldn’t fathom the reason why Kaneki was so intent on being a prankster all of a sudden. The Kaneki he knew was a docile boy, not a keen talker, though he had the most exquisite voice both in and out of bed. He was never brash, and had never liked _games._ Not like Tsukiyama did.

Even so, Tsukiyama decided that he hated this game with everything he had.

“Ken…!” The man felt his rage contort itself, pulling at his throat as he stormed the room, leaving nothing intact. But before the beginnings of sorrow could form within his chest, recollections of _that man_ came, setting his stomach on fire once more.

“Salaud…” Barely working his mutter past gritted teeth, he spun on his heel and kicked the front door almost completely off its hinges. Comeuppance would surely find that pig, that wolf in sheep’s clothing that lured his Ken away with honeyed lies.

Firing up his Ferrari, fatigue forgotten and heart racing, Tsukiyama vowed he would find Kaneki and bring him back for good this time.

Hide hadn’t been expecting a call.

“Hello?” he greeted, tucking the phone between ear and shoulder as he worked on dinner. Kaneki was watching TV in the living room with Nishino—some crappy soap opera that they were getting _very_ invested in, judging by Kaneki’s pulled eyebrows and Nishino’s tears.

“Nagachika Hideyoshi, right?” The man’s voice on the other line was gruff, a smoker’s tone.

“That’s me.”

“I’m Officer Nakajima, down at the police station. This guy’s been trying to contact you, says you guys, uh…hit it off, or somethin’, and he needed to return this watch of yours, but he didn’t catch your name. I’ll put him on for you, right quick.” Silence followed as the man passed the phone.

Hide’s heart dropped.

And he hung up.

“No. Oh, shit. Oh my god.”

Kaneki perked at Hide’s distress. “Hide? What’s wrong?”

Hide turned wide eyes on Kaneki, taking in the way the man’s own eyes weren’t burdened by purple bags in the fluorescent lighting of the TV. How clean he looked. At peace.

“It’s…” Hide bit his lip. Should he lie? Tsukiyama wouldn’t find him…he didn’t have his address in the local phone book.

Another thought, along the same lines, struck him immediately.

_But my parlor’s address is._

“Shit,” Hide hissed. He dashed from the kitchen, abandoning the spaghetti he’d been in the process of making, and grabbed his hoodie off the table. He heard Kaneki patter after him.

“What’s going on, Hide?” After being ignored, Kaneki grabbed Hide by the hood and yanked him around. “Talk to me!”

Hide ran a hand through his hair. He just couldn’t lie to Kaneki. He couldn’t say it was nothing—Kaneki more than deserved to know that Tsukiyama had unquestionably just learned his name and was probably searching him up at that moment, looking for an edge.

“Kaneki, it’s Tsukiyama.” Hide’s stomach shifted as Kaneki paled. “He knows my name. He’s back, and he’s mad, and…” He couldn’t finish. He was making things worse, and they both knew it.

But then, Kaneki spoke. “We…don’t have to stay here.”

Hide thought he’d misheard the other boy. “Huh? Stay? What’re you—”

“I’m saying we can leave.” Kaneki reached for Hide’s cheeks and pulled their foreheads together. Their eyes remained open, and Hide felt he understood what Kaneki was trying to communicate without his next words. “I’ve been thinking about it, these past few days. We could sell my Taurus. I have some money left over from when I stole from Tsukiyama…and I can sell the flower shop. Or we can just leave it. If you’re willing.” A pause, and a softening of those brilliant silver eyes. “I know I am.”

Though he understood, Hide couldn’t believe what was being said to him. Leave the town he’d grown up in? Abandon it, all he’d known, his _business,_ for Kaneki? He pulled back, and eyed the other man with newfound wariness—his eyes burned as it conflicted with his feelings for the man suggesting to elope.

“I don’t know, Kaneki…”

Like a punctured tire, Kaneki’s deflation was gradual, and it tore at Hide’s chest.

“Hide, if you don’t want to continue this life with me, just…tell me. We’ll be haunted by Tsukiyama forever unless we leave, or…” Kaneki swallowed loudly. “Or I go back to him.”

Somewhere in the midst of their conversation, Nishino had made her way over and was standing some ways behind Kaneki, glaring at Hide with as much venom as she could muster. It was all Hide could do not to shrink away from her.

“Hide, Kaneki. If you’re interested in a _city_ home—that is, _if_ you decide to move—” another sharp glare was sent Hide’s way—“then I have some suggestions for cheapy apartment housing. Not anything better than this, but not much more expensive, either.” Nishino sidled up beside Kaneki, gracing him with a soft smile that was so very different than the expressions she’d sent Hide.

“Did someone say ‘city’?” Nishio piped in, joining them at the front door. He looked lost as to why they were all huddled there, but he pushed on to stand beside Nishino. “What’s going on?”

Hide waved his arms around, forcing a five-foot radius about him in the cramped space so he could breathe. “Let’s all just calm down for a minute, okay?” he suggested. “Why don’t we talk about this in the living room.” Without waiting for any signs of agreement, he pushed past his roommates and plopped down on the couch.

“Hide…” Kaneki sat next to him, and the blond’s breath hitched. He was powerless against this warmth, those eyes that were mere inches from his own. He looked away.

“It’s not that simple, Kaneki…” Hide squinted, grasping at explanations, for things that tied him to his town. “I grew up here. My parents’ graves are here. My parlor. I…” Hide stopped. Cupping his hands to his face, his stomach plunged.

He was making absolutely everything about himself.

How could he be so cruel to the man sitting next to him, the man who had _nothing_ but torturing, covetous love to return to? Had his own promises, his own love for Kaneki, been just as disillusioning? His insides twisted at the prospect of being similar to Tsukiyama in any fashion.

Yes, Hide would be giving up everything he’d grown up with, everything he knew. But hadn’t Kaneki done the same—however indirectly—for him? And what a small price to pay to be with someone Hide believed he loved with every ounce of his being. Someone he was willing to risk everything for.

For Kaneki, he would be able to do it.

Finding Kaneki’s eyes once more (he pulled the other man’s chin gently, as Kaneki had turned his gaze as well), Hide nodded resolutely. “Kaneki. We can go. We’ll leave.”

With those simple words, Kaneki positively shone.

“Hide…!” Kaneki wrapped himself around the blond, all gratitude and compassion. Hide hugged back with equal incoordination and excitement, a trill of adrenaline pumping through him as he faced leaving the countryside with the man he loved. With no Tsukiyama to worry him as he slept beside this man, the ability to calm Kaneki with assurance from his nightmares, and time to _truly_ know the Kaneki Ken he fell in love with ahead, the heavy tug of leaving his home was lessened greatly.

“Wait—what about me?”

The tender moment was ruptured by Nishio’s uncharacteristically naïve (but characteristically tactless) interjection. Hide and Kaneki separated to address him.

“Well, unless you wanna pay for this damn thing on your own, you come with.” Hide leaned back and pulled Kaneki with him so the pale boy’s head rested on his chest, Hide’s fingers entwined tenderly in white locks. “Besides, it would be easier to live closer to Nishino, right? Even if she lives in the dorms, it’d be nice to be able to see her not _just_ during breaks and stuff, I think. But maybe that’s just me.”

Nishio seemed to rather like the idea. He crossed his arms, as if weighing his options, but Hide knew his argument was strong enough to win him over. “Would we room together again?”

“Why not?”

Nishio sighed. “Well, I feel like as time goes on, _things_ are gonna get a little more common.”

Hide laughed, and Kaneki burrowed closer to Hide like he was a child who’d been scolded. “I don’t think you’ll need to worry about that…and I mean, I hear city apartments have thicker walls.”

Nishio rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. Whatever you say.”

Nishino looked delighted. Hopping around the room, she asked, “So, do we start packing now?”

“I mean, I guess. I’ll put up our shop plots for sale tomorrow?” Hide patted Kaneki’s head, who nodded. His hand found its way to the hem of the other man’s hoodie and grasped it, his anchor. Hide leaned down to plant a kiss on his fragile love’s head—on the man who had and would continue to change his life completely and irreversibly.

Hide didn’t mind that, though. Not in the slightest.

 

Tsukiyama stepped back to admire the marvelous work he’d done. Nagachika Hideyoshi—that trash who’d stolen Kaneki out from under him, almost literally—was going to pay, and this was just a taste of Tsukiyama’s scheme. But no matter how brainwashed Kaneki was, no matter how in pain, Tsukiyama would still accept him. Because what else could he do? His love for Kaneki was too strong; he could never abandon him. So all that was left to do was save him.

The inner walls of Hide’s tattoo parlor now depicted such. A variety of acrylic spray paints decorated the entire interior, with messages ranging from “Return what is mine, filthy bastard” to “Scum of the earth—doesn’t deserve to live” to, more simply put, “Swine”. The furniture was a wreck, with every retro bar chair either bent or split in half. Hide’s tattooing materials were strewn about the floor of the next room like confetti, now only fractional remnants of what they’d been. The tile had been thrashed and broken to bits, courtesy of the sledgehammer they offered at the only hardware store in town. The poor flooring hadn’t stood a chance.

Much like a stress ball, destroying Hide’s parlor had done wonders for Tsukiyama’s mental state, and his head was cleared of its prior foggy rage. He would simply have to wait for Hide to give up. If he couldn’t forcefully take Kaneki from the man, he would have Hide do the honors for him, and return what was rightfully his. Because no one could outlast Tsukiyama’s wrath. No one ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's all appreciate these fluffy moments before shit really starts going down next chapter !!


End file.
